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Song Parodies -> "Beet Juice"

Original Song Title:

"Beat It"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Beet Juice"

Parody Written by:

John Lomain

The Lyrics

This can of beet juice was given to me 2 months ago and has been in the fridge ever since...
You know that you don’t ever wanna drink it
You’ve convinced yourself that you won’t like it one bit
But drinks are running low, you feel like throwing a fit
It’s beet juice, it’s beet juice

You wanna pour it down the sink, well you can
It might just taste like blood, then it’ll hit the fan
You wanna be tough, drink it if you can
It’s beet juice, part of Rocky's training

It’s beet juice, beet juice, beet juice, beet juice,
Said it more than 3 times, he’s loose
A wild character telling you to drink
It doesn’t matter how much it stinks
He has a screw loose
You’d rather eat moose
Or maybe a goose
It’s beet juice, beet juice

It’s out to get you, never leaves from the fridge
It’s next to the potato chips that have a ridge
It rebounds if thrown off the nearest high bridge
That beet juice, it’s beet juice

You have to show it that you’re up to the task
You’re drinking there one night, done with the whiskey flask
When you have drank beet juice then
In glory you will bask
Drink beet juice, you might puke out your guts

From beet juice, beet juice, beet juice, beet juice
You try to resist but no use
It looks real chunky and strong with the taste
You think you’d rather eat some toothpaste

It’s beet juice, beet juice, beet juice, beet juice
Trash it and taste buds call a truce
It smells real funky and strong is the taste
If it’s hurled or trashed oh what a waste

It’s beet juice, beet juice, beet juice, beet juice
Reward yourself with chocolate mousse
Beet taste will repeat on you through the night
The smell of your breath will cause a fright
It’s beet juice, beet juice
Beet juice, beet juice, beet juice

You drink so it won’t defeat you
It tastes real junky but it’s good for you
It doesn’t matter ‘cause you start to spew

That beet juice, beet juice, beet juice, beet juice
Your system can’t take the abuse
Showin’ how awfully bad tasting it is
Wish you had rather drank stuff with fizz

It’s beet juice, beet juice, beet juice, beet juice
Went outside and barfed on the spruce
Killing some plant life and bugs in the way
Wish you had put it off 10 more days
It’s beet juice, beet juice
Beet juice, beet juice, beet juice

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - November 17, 2016 - Report this comment
Can't beet this parody- 555! I might add a small story about Hitler here, though. He used to drink a lot but through rehabilitation, quit. However, all the fruit juices he was given turned him off them; instead, he substituted vegetable juices and beet juice was one of them! Of course, Hitler drank water, tea, lemonade, and despite vows of never drinking ever again, had champagne in small amounts for celebration of war victories and on occasion with Eva. Eva of course threw lavish parties and had the Führer Bunker stocked with alcohol. And Hitler's mineral water Fachingen is still sold in Germany.
Jonathan - November 17, 2016 - Report this comment
^ Rob beet me to the pun! 5s
Rob Arndt - November 17, 2016 - Report this comment
Both Jon and John- stay tuned tomorrow for a beet themed parody you wouldn't expect!
John Lomain - November 17, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks Rob and Jonathan. That was interesting Rob, I knew beet juice was evil somehow. Actually drank it today, it really was awful
CML and Cher - November 17, 2016 - Report this comment
The beets go in .. The beets go in ... Gums keep pounding a flava to the brain .. Vlad de-da-de-dee, Vlad-de-da-de-daa
Karen - November 17, 2016 - Report this comment
Beet juice stains are notoriously hard to get out if not treated immediately. So don't spill any on your shirt.
John Lomain - November 17, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks CML and Karen

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