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Song Parodies -> "Bland"

Original Song Title:

"Bad"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Bland"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

This illness mine is quite a sight
Can't show my face in broad daylight
I'm telling you on how I feel
Sun hurt s my skin, it begins to peel
Come on,
Come on,
I feel home at night...

You see my skin is getting pink
count o'pigment cells will slowly sink
My melanin slowly will run out
till I'm completely blank - that's all about

Well they say it's just a show trick
And I'm ashamed to be a tan
But my friend you have seen nothing
I hope you'll understand . . .

Because I'm bland, I'm bland-come on
(bland bland-really, really bland)
You know I'm bland, I'm bland-you know it
(bland bland-really, really bland)
You know I'm bland, I'm bland-come on, you know
(bland bland-really, really bland)
And the whole skin will loose colour right soon
Just to show you once again,
Who's bland . . .

The word is out I am just a freak
that I've bleached my skin and my mind was weak
So listen now, this sure ain't fun
My face is ruined, nowhere to run
Have to wear these shades be it day or night
'cause too much light can ruin my sight

But they say I really look like
as I have escaped the grave
And my friends you have seen nothin'
Now do I dare to shave? . . .

Because I'm bland, I'm bland-come on
(bland bland-really, really bland)
You know I'm bland, I'm bland-you know it
(bland bland-really, really bland)
You know I'm bland, I'm bland-you know it, you know
(bland bland-really, really bland)
And the whole world will see me right now
(and the whole world will see me right now)
whose face is ruined again,
(whose face is ruined again)
Who's bland . . .

I wear long-sleeve sweat-shirts only
Sure nothing made from lace
And a hundred grams of make-up
I need protect my face . . .

[chorus repeated 4x]
Because I'm bland, I'm bland-come on
(bland bland-really, really bland)
You know I'm bland, I'm bland-you know it
(bland bland-really, really bland)
You know I'm bland, I'm bland-you know it, you know
(bland bland-really, really bland)
Woo! woo! woo!
(and the whole world will see me right now just to tell me once again . . .)

Who's bland?
More on vitiligo at Vitiligo.org. Michael Jackson's disease was diagnosed 1994. LaToya Jackson suffers from the same disease. They have inherited the disease from their paternal grandfather, who suffered also from vitiligo. Other Jackson siblings have been spared from the disease.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - September 15, 2005 - Report this comment
nice job on turning his own song against him...5s
Susanna Viljanen - September 15, 2005 - Report this comment
While I'm no fan of Michael Jackson - due to his gross immaturity - I still in a sense feel compassion on vitiligo sufferers. Sadly, neither Michael nor LaToya have come out as vitiligo patients - and given vitiligo the face.

Vitiligo is a disease where patient's T cells turn against the skin's melanin, turning the skin into pink. It occurs on 1% of populace, both on men and women. On Caucasians, vitiligo is often almost undetectable, but on Afro-Americans and Indo-Americans, the vitiligo can have really dramatic consequences. In the end the patient turns not only into whitish by complexion, but almost into albino. The patient's skin becomes extremely sensitive to sunlight and burns easily. Both Michael and LaToya wear heavy makeup - not only to look good, but to protect skin, What Michael looks like now is only foretaste on what is to come. The Jacksons' grandfather suffered from the same disease. In India, vitiligo is considered "white leper" and vitiligo sufferers are - sadly - isolated off the society.

There really is no cure for vitiligo, but it can be treated with skin grafts, PUVA therapy and self-tanning lotions. Vitiligo sufferers are compelled to wear long-sleeved shirts, pants and sunglasses to protect their skins and eyes.
Michael Pacholek - September 15, 2005 - Report this comment
At least it hasn't affected Janet. And nothing's affected your writing, it's still great.

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