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Song Parodies -> "For Whom The Hearing Fails"

Original Song Title:

"For Whom The Bell Tolls"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Metallica

Parody Song Title:

"For Whom The Hearing Fails"

Parody Written by:

TheAnswerIsNo

The Lyrics

The best. This song's rhyme structure matches up with the repeating riffs in For Whom the Bell Tolls.
$haya boots up and puts on his accounting best,
knowing he is richer than all the rest.

But ironically he forgets about Josh the pest
as he fiddles with the controls on his robotic vest.

Buttons, dials, gauges, and the latest electronics,
$haya is an example of advanced robotics.

Lasers, rockets, and an expandable memory,
$haya is equipped with the latest weaponry.

As he gets in his Lexus he shifts into gear,
knowing money making opportunities are drawing near.

Screaming and cussing at his secretary Bonnie,
$haya smells like he bathes in Armani.

Stopping for a quick breakfast of bolts and screws,
Bragging to his coworkers about the Jews.

Boasting about his genius son to his coworker Rick,
who secretly thinks $haya is a total dick.

Getting everyone's attention with a glass and spoon
$haya says the following speech in this very tune:

"I said to Josh 'I know you'll ace this test,
because as a $chimel you'll be the best.
For a thousand years the $chimel name has been number one,
and you have an advantage as my favorite son.'
When it comes to history, my son really knows his stuff,
Josh may be the world's greatest history buff!
Place your bets on his grade even if you're poor,
I'm putting all my money on a perfect score!"

$haya sits down at his desk and starts to work,
with his combover and suit looking like a total jerk.

Inside his robotic head the gears start clanking,
$haya doesn't care that the economy is tanking.

After making a grand he breaks for lunch,
of Subway, motor oil, and Hawaiian Punch.

He thinks "After 75 hours of work with the IRS,
I'll finally be able to pay off the DRS."

Finishing with his last client and ready to crash,
$haya leaves work with a wallet stuffed with cash.

Driving in the rich lane unlike all the rest,
thinking "I bet Josh aced his history test,

Playing WOW and generally a failure from birth,
I feel I haven't gotten my money's worth.

Now people will know his genius throughout the earth,
and not only hear about his massive girth."

Getting home and walking through his house beaming,
he can hear the sound of Sandy's screaming.

Unfortunately $haya he has trouble with what he hears,
as he is a robot with faulty ears.

".....I'll tell....dad..I'm..total...itch.,
...Salem...you...God..witch.!"

$haya smiles and anticipates good news,
thinking he'll reward the family with a rich cruise.

He says to $andy "I'm so proud of my genius son,
even though he thinks we're living in the year 1731.

Hallucinations and amnesia are not so bad,
when you think of all the soda and candy he's had!"

Sandy says "I have news that made me clap with glee.
Josh bombed his test and got a C!"

$haya screams "You've unleashed the beast from the cage
I'm angrier than Walter in a red-faced rage!

You've dishonored the family and now you'll pay,
Just like Shimmy when he forgot his tray!"

Whirring and clanging $haya prepares for battle,
as the foundation in the house begins to rattle.

Blowing Josh's door right off the hinges,
$haya breathes in the air and unexpectedly cringes.

For out of the room came an ungodly stench,
Josh was using a latrine dug out of a trench.

$haya screams "I told you to shower, what don't you get!"
Josh cries "Showers haven't been invented yet!"

$haya's glowing eyes are powerfully bright,
for a room once lit by candlelight.

$haya looks at Josh and screams "for one,
I now claim Uriel as my favorite son!"

Josh gets to his knees and starts to grovel,
as pigs and chickens run around in his hovel.

Josh begs for mercy and weeps "Father I fear you,"
$haya turns off his mic and says "I cannot hear you!"

As $haya looms over Josh huddled on the ground,
He screams "Compassion file has not been found!"

$haya laughs and says "for an added thrill,
I'll set my slapping hand from stun to kill!"

Recoiling in disgust from Josh's wool that is rotten,
Josh has not heard of a thing called cotton.

Josh screams "Please Dad I always try!"
Tears roll down his face as he starts to cry.

$haya cackles "you'll now be punished for your crimes,
of being backward and behind the times!"

He says "Josh where the hell did you get a CD?
Its a futuristic piece of technology!
For costing me a fortune I'll take them away
and make more money back then i lost today
for you see I can convert CDs into gold
even if they're 250 years old"

Josh you're a failure but what the hell,
at least we didn't spoil Uriel!"
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Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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 4   1
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