S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y
Safety pins!

[Spoken]
Take a chance if you want to,
Stick your friends in the behind
'Cause your friends will jump and if they don't jump
then they've drank way too much wine
I say, poke them in where you want to
You can wear one in your nose
Whether in your ear or down by your rear
In those places undisclosed
You're so enhanced

[Sung]
Fix your bra if you need to
You can mend your broken strap
It ain't fly with one boob high,
other drooping in your lap
I say, if you've broken your zipper
And your horse is getting out
Go get a safety pin and put it back in
'Cause that I could do without
So fix your pants
No chance!

Long ago before Pampers
No Huggies to be found
Couldn't catch the poop if the diapers drooped
So you'd pin them right around
Do you remember the napkins
in those old Modess machines?
With two small pins to attach to the ends
just to keep your panties clean

[Refrain]
I say, safety pins, safety pins
Keeping everything in control
Safety pins, safety pins
Pinning closed most every hole
Safety pins, safety pins
Everybody needs a big pack
Safety pins, safety pins
Much better than an old thumbtack

Safety pins
I like safety pins
I like safety pins

S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y
Safety pins!

Make a chain if you want to
You can make your dog a leash
You can pop the blisters on your brothers and sisters
You can pick food from your teeth
Give yourself a home face-lift
Surgery does not compare
You can do it free, but you'll want to be
sure to hide them in your hair

[Refrain]

I like safety pins, oh I like safety pins [6x]
Oh I like safety pins