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Song Parodies -> "Safety Pins"

Original Song Title:

"Safety Dance"

Original Performer:

Men Without Hats

Parody Song Title:

"Safety Pins"

Parody Written by:

Jan Unwin

The Lyrics

S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y
Safety pins!

[Spoken]
Take a chance if you want to,
Stick your friends in the behind
'Cause your friends will jump and if they don't jump
then they've drank way too much wine
I say, poke them in where you want to
You can wear one in your nose
Whether in your ear or down by your rear
In those places undisclosed
You're so enhanced

[Sung]
Fix your bra if you need to
You can mend your broken strap
It ain't fly with one boob high,
other drooping in your lap
I say, if you've broken your zipper
And your horse is getting out
Go get a safety pin and put it back in
'Cause that I could do without
So fix your pants
No chance!

Long ago before Pampers
No Huggies to be found
Couldn't catch the poop if the diapers drooped
So you'd pin them right around
Do you remember the napkins
in those old Modess machines?
With two small pins to attach to the ends
just to keep your panties clean

[Refrain]
I say, safety pins, safety pins
Keeping everything in control
Safety pins, safety pins
Pinning closed most every hole
Safety pins, safety pins
Everybody needs a big pack
Safety pins, safety pins
Much better than an old thumbtack

Safety pins
I like safety pins
I like safety pins

S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y
Safety pins!

Make a chain if you want to
You can make your dog a leash
You can pop the blisters on your brothers and sisters
You can pick food from your teeth
Give yourself a home face-lift
Surgery does not compare
You can do it free, but you'll want to be
sure to hide them in your hair

[Refrain]

I like safety pins, oh I like safety pins [6x]
Oh I like safety pins

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   3
 2
 3
 
 5   9
 10
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
THIS IS A HOWLER !! "Take a chance if you want to, Stick your friends in the behind" .... and so many other hilarious lines!! Yeee-haaawww 555 !
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Jan, DKTOS. Are "Men Without Hats" a current group? I never heard of them.
Jan Unwin - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, no I believe they were one of those one-hit wonders back in the 80s.
Jan's friend - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
They are now known as MEN WITHOUT JOBS :-D. 555
Serafina - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Jan, even though "Safety Dance" is their most popular song, they are not a one hit wonder. They did have another hit, called "Pop Goes The World"-- and even though that song didn't do quite as well on the charts, it was still a hit.
Jan Unwin - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Serifina, thanks, I didn't know that.
Jan Unwin - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Oops Serafina...spelled your name wrong. Thanks again. And Jan's Friend...I know who you are and you are so right!
alvin rhodes - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
i always look foward to your parodies, jan...always very clever and well paced...5s.....
Jeb Bush - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks for your perception, Jan. The best way to treat the situation is to leave his chads hanging due to apathy:-D
Paul Robinson - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Jan & Serafina - Thanks for the information. Sometimes when I haven't heard of something or someone it's because I occasionally move myself into a cultural cave (I gave up Television last August, I still have it. It's on for an occasional Video and about once every week or two for 5 minutes during a newscast.) Although I'm sure I miss some good things overall I am much happier.
David Chrenko - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
A very creative way to make a point., Jan, and yes, I do remember the original, "Safety Dance". This was from back in the day when safety pins were still considered a fashion assesory.
Jeff Reuben - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
They are NOT one hit wonders, they're TWO hit wonders. They're other song was Pop Goes The World (which I parodied, check it out). Anyway, this song was so demented it was funny, and really made me laugh. 5-5-5. Excellent job Jan.
grammar cop - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
JR, your most recent comment has an incorrect homophone. You put "They're other song" (which means "they are other song"; doesn't make sense); it should be "Their other song."

But we know what you mean. Try not to make that flub in the future. :)
Jan Unwin - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny, Paul, Serafina, Alvin, Jeb, David, and Jeff. And especially "Jan's Friend". There was some scary movie that had a guy with pins sticking out all over his face. I wanted to use that in the parody, but I couldn't remember the name of it.
Jan's friend - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I love you dearly, you brilliant lady!!!!!!!!!Correct-a-mundo. I vaguely remember the guy myself, but the name of the movie escapes me. Hope to see you soon, keep writing your hilarious parodies, I read them every day, and keep you deep within my heart.
PABLUMS - March 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Check FOR WHAT YOU'RE WORTH on FEB. 26th. I will have the sequel out tomorrow or Friday, called BEING FOR THE BENEFIT OF MR 1. The voters shall speak volumes Friday starting at noon.:-D.
Jan Unwin - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmmm....Jan's Friend....you're not who I thought you were, but now I have an idea of who you might be. Except for the hope to see you soon part. How about another hint?
Laugh.net - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Just meant to see your comments, not in person. I am many.:-D
alvin rhodes - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
the pin face guy shows up in the "hellraiser" movies, jan
Birgitta - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Jan,been bogged down with work...ugh. I knew you must have put up a a parody or two though-glad you did.The boobs in the lap part cracked me up! GJ
Jan Unwin - March 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin. That's the movie I was trying to think of. And Birgitta, I always look forward to your parodies. You are one of the names that I look for first each morning when I check out the new stuff.
Leah Lockhart - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Very good, but, I was waiting for the line about friendship beads... or was that just my pathetic generation?
Meriadoc - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Jan, this was fabulous! :-D
2nz - March 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Very excellent use of a song I can't stand in any way. The extra verse is a little confusing and disorienting. Maybe it's just my version of the song, but the version that I have has 3 melody stanzas, not 4. I assumed that when you said (Spoken), it is meant to be read before the song really starts, so no pacing points taken away. G/J Jan.
Jan Unwin - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Leah, I think I missed out on the friendship beads, but that would have been a good thing to add.
Mari D - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Great idea, Jan! It's great to see something that hasn't been covered before. It brings back memories of making safety pin jewelry back in college in the summer of '73. I bought a book at the local craft store called "Safety Pins? You're Kidding!" and made several necklaces for myself, family and friends. To create these "masterpieces" you would open the pins and fill the open side of the pin with beads of all colors, shapes, and sizes.
Leo Jay - May 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Hilarious.
Candra Danylak - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Brilliant! It's so perfectly rendered and promoted thoughts and images of pins. The part about two small pins attached to the ends just to keep your panties clean instantly conjured up thoughts of rubber pants over top of thickly padded cotton cloth diapers.
Serafina - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Just came back to restore my 5-5-5 vote on this great parody.
Whatever you want to call me - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
I enjoyed it; it was good; that's all I have to say.

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