Working late for an old company;
New-hired girl sitting next to me.
She was a strange lassie, she made me nervous;
She took me hand and gave caresses,

And she say:

"Aren't you gonna put your hand down under?
Is something wrong with you, I wonder?
Take your hand, put it on my bun, there;
The other hand, put under my cover!"

"I'm dead if I do that!" I say.
"The lawyer come, and sue me blind, ey?"
I say, "Do ya understand English!?"
She just smiled and nibbled at me hand like sandwich,

And she say:

"I like having a hand down under!
Are other men like you, I wonder?
Put my thighs, put my thighs asunder!
Gimme your hand, I work under cover."
(Eyipe!)

[Instrumental interlude]

Feel like I'm in a bad play;
Got a slack jaw, and not much to say.
I say to the girl, "leave alone my chest hair!"
And "Do you think I am child molestor?"

And she say "Oh!"

"Come on now, put your hand down under!
Are you a homo, I wonder?
Cop a feel, feel my heart thunder! (Aaah!)
You got a few things to discover!"
(Booyah!)

New girl wants my hand down under.
She's telling me to grab her plunder.
Is she even sixteen I wonder?
I gotta run, I gotta find cover!

Trying to show me what's down under,
But I would pay for having fun there.
I don't wanna hear from a lawyer!
Keep all of your things under cover!

Come on, now, put your clothes back on there!
No way my hand's going down there!
I don't wanna hear from a lawyer!
Put all of your gems under cover!