Travelling in a mod'fied hum-vee
Three US tourists, chock full of Bundy
They met a strange lady who sized them up fast
And overcharged them all for breakfast

And she said:
"What brings you to the land down under?"
Said "We're here to see your wonders
Wanna see, wanna see 'roos thunder
Thru the streets, thru the streets in numbers"

Buying dope from a man in Bondi
He was six foot four and bronzed with blue eyes
I said, "Can I get-a some good hash?"
He just smiled and showed me his shiny new cop badge

And he said:
"You're nicked in a land down under
Long way from home, and you've blundered"
Shake my head, shake my head and wonder
I better make my one call to mother

Lying in a jail in Sydney
With back to wall - for to protect me
Bribe the guard but he said "You try to impress me?
Because your tenner is worth my twenty?"

And he said:
"Oh! Now you're stuck in a land down under? (oh no no)
You need F. Lee Bailey's number
Big guys here gonna split you asunder
You better find a mighty strong lover"

Thinkin' that this is a bummer
Next twenty years - lookin' glummer
Cannot eat vegemite all summer
Mom better call U.S. ambassador

Imprisoned in a land down under
Where 'women' are all named Bubba
As my rear, as my rear gets number
I really think I displaced my lumbar

Imprisoned in a land down under
Where men are men and I'm humbler
Cannot get, cannot get much slumber
I wish I were home and safe with mother