Mama and Daddy and I were in debt
The ceiling would leak, the floors would get wet
We had to sell our only cow
They wanted to trade me

Daddy was big and built like King Kong
He was a soldier who fought the Vietcong
His nose had a big fat wart
And he was always drinking

After a dinner of sauerkraut
Mama would go to wash her hair out
It was such an awful mess—I was just a baby

(Chorus)
Mama used bleach, Daddy never made a peep
Mama used bleach while I was counting sheep
And it made her blind, and it was driving me crazy
Driving me crazy, mmm...

Why would it always frustrate me?
It was not any infirmity
By the morning light
It would look real nice
But my nose would assuredly pick it up
And my stomach would churn and then I would throw up
The nocturnal colorings came at such a price
(Chorus)

Mommy, Mommy, why couldn't you just be
A true brunette? It's eating me
Up inside. You're messing up now.
Do you not love? Do you not love me?
Jeez...
(Chorus)

Mama used bleach, the price was pretty steep
Mama used bleach while I was counting sheep
And I'm gping crazy
Will you stop dying it, Mommy?
Will you stop dying?
Will you stop dying?