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Song Parodies -> "Battle of the Dates (Batalla de las Fechas)"

Original Song Title:

"La Isla Bonita"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Madonna

Parody Song Title:

"Battle of the Dates (Batalla de las Fechas)"

Parody Written by:

Rebekah Dub

The Lyrics

Male v. female accounts of Date Night(s). Credit goes to friend and fellow AIR parodist Robert D. Arndt Jr. for the development/suggestion of the high-maintenance female lead in the parody.
[Rebekah Dub]
Omigod, my hair’s messed up!

[Disgruntled Date]
Last night we went to the movies
And ate at a popular sushi bar
But in an effort to look “groovy”
She played with her hair and makeup in my car

[Rebekah Dub]
I had to look beautiful
Since I was wearing lambs-wool
And it was my first date since
God knows how long it’s been
Could not let myself go
It was so long ago
That I had been on a good date
Or any date at all

[Disgruntled Date]
I contemplated calling her
I was bored and I had a whole day to spare
She debuted faux fur
She took so long I assumed she killed a bear

[Rebekah Dub]
I was putting on lip-gloss
That was bleeding ‘round my mouth
Lip-liner did not do smack
Though it matched the lip-gloss
And my mascara ran
All the way to Bhutan
I re-applied and covered it
Up with my concealer

I really wish my date would stop bitching
It’s not my fault that I always have to look perfect
Though it’s more likely that I’m just a fling
Because we hardly talked; all we did… did was neck

[Disgruntled Date]
I think I ruined her lip-gloss
Either that or on her dress I spilled hot sauce

[Rebekah Dub]
That was an expensive dress
So I am in great distress
I’m stuck with a lifelong stain
Because it won’t come out
I got it at full-price
‘Twas worth the sacrifice
Because I wore that dress a lot
Anytime that I could

[Disgruntled Date]
She could wear a cardigan
It is cold in Arlington
And cardigans are the thing
In small-town Ohio
So she won’t look like crap
I hope she doesn’t yap
I’ll suggest this idea to her
And see how she responds

[Rebekah Dub]
I’ll need a long cardigan
But I lack a battle plan
And the time to go shopping
For a long cardigan
So I’ll find something else
That’ll go just as well
I must look like a million bucks
And I’m having no luck
Credit also goes to Google Translate for helping me translate "Battle of the Dates" from English to Spanish. (Spanish translation is in the parentheses by the song title.) Feel free to correct me, however, if this translation is incorrect.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - January 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Entertaining, interesting, and believable...especially the line, "She took so long, she must've shot a bear"... :)...I've had similar dating experiences, and they usually show up wearing a fur coat..and can especially relate, since I, actually, live on a street named Arlington in a small town in Ohio..but I don't wear cardigans
Rebekah Dub - January 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Thank you! I'm happy you enjoyed the piece. I really enjoyed writing it. I'm generally a low-maintenance person in real life, but on dates I do want to make a good impression, especially on someone I'd been wanting to go out with. Unfortunately, at times, I've taken the time to get ready and look good, only to get stood up. That's awesome that you live in Ohio as well! Ohioans unite! (And write.)
Buckeye Scott - January 30, 2012 - Report this comment
Good piece, Rebekah! I've also taken time and effort as well only to get stood up too. One time I met my date (she was in her Honda) and then she just revved it up and kicked up a dirt cloud on me. She didn't have to be so rude or circumscribe about it! Oh yeah, I was born in Ohio and that's where I proudly live. Round at both ends, HI in the middle. Cheers!
Rebekah Dub - January 31, 2012 - Report this comment
Glad you enjoyed it, Buckeye Scott! Dust clouds suck. =(

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