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Song Parodies -> "Candy Bar"

Original Song Title:

"Lucky Star"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Madonna

Parody Song Title:

"Candy Bar"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Nothing can replace the original Marathon Bar of 1973-81. Even the British Cadbury-made Curly Whirly Bar is no real substitute. It's smaller and has just a thin layer of chocolate that instantly melts when you touch it. It's a braided copy that's inferior. MARS Inc. refuses to bring back the beloved candy bar, despite overwhelming requests for it...
I miss my favorite candy bar
'Cause I had you on me wherever we were
I just think of you, my stomach starts to growl
Need your chocolate & caramel
8 inches, right now

[Chorus:]
Chocolate, caramel, braided with a ruler straight
Chocolate, [caramel] tasted GREAT!!!
Chocolate, caramel, braided with a ruler straight
Chocolate, [caramel] yum!

I miss my favorite candy bar
'Cause Mars Inc. made them since 1973
And then suddenly you were gone by ‘81
I just looked around and there were none…

Chocolate, caramel, braided with a ruler straight
Chocolate, [caramel] it was GREAT!!!
Chocolate, caramel, braided with a ruler straight
Chocolate, [caramel] yum!

C’mon Mars Inc. make everything all right
'Cause people remember that wrapper that was so bright (red)

I miss my favorite candy bar
Marathon Bar was best by far
(can’t substitute with Curly Whirly bar)

http://www.retroist.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/marathon.jpg

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   6
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 7
 

User Comments

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Wild Child JIN - May 17, 2011 - Report this comment
I'd be pleased with sugar on top, to give you three 5's for this sweet parody! :-)
Rob Arndt - May 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks WCJ... I forgot to add that the Marathon bar was brought back as a sports bar which is NOTHING like the original. Not sure if that is still around either but don't care. I miss my Marathon bar- the 8" braided chocolate and caramel wonder of the '70s-early '80s. Always had one in Jr High and HS.
Patrick - May 17, 2011 - Report this comment
I am fortunate that the Nestlé Aero chocolate bar can still be found at a few specialty stores in Kansas City. I am running out of Brazilian Suflair, waiting for my friend to bring me some more. I miss the Triple Decker from the early 1970's. Milk chocolate on top, white chocolate in the middle, and dark chocolate on the bottom. My tribute to the Aero Bar, to the tune of "O Canada" is my most viewed parody, for no particular reason I can figure.
Wendy Christopher - May 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Great parody that's got me wanting chocolate now! in my role of Confused Brit I must ask.... was the 'original' Marathon bar more like a Curly Wurly then? How bizarre! In the UK I've only ever known it as being the one with slushy chocolatey nougat on the bottom and caramel and peanuts on the top, then covered in chocolate. Never liked it much myself, too sweet for my tastes. Wispa bars, on the other hand.... now you're talking! *goes off to hunt one down*
Bruno - May 17, 2011 - Report this comment
In the UK, Marathon bars are now called Snickers. I'm trying to kick the addiction. I nearly bought a packet of 10 snack sized Snickers for £1 today but managed to resist (by eating pear drops instead).
Patrick - May 19, 2011 - Report this comment
Does anyone remember the rare and elusive Clark "Crispy" bar? Virtually the same thing as a Nestlé "Crunch" so nothing special. Only place I ever saw one was in a vending machine in the basement of the Wyandotte County, Kansas courthouse.

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