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Song Parodies -> "Selling Avon"

Original Song Title:

"Like a Virgin"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Selling Avon"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

AVON aims to help women. It not only touches feminine beauty, but health, fitness, self-empowerment and financial independence also. It is also a popular brand of cosmetics, perfume, apparels, intimate wear and toys most women trust globally. My mother was an Avon Lady and unfortunately for me as a teen male, I had to deliver the stuff. Met some “foxes” though long before MILF was a term!!!
I made it through this neighborhood
Door-to-door, I made it through
Didn't know how many catalogues I distributed
From Campaign #32

I was beat, dead on my feet
Walked for miles, rang a thousand doorbells
But Avon made me feel
Yeah, Avon made me feel
Self-empowered with all those sales

Selling Avon
Working for the very first time
Selling Avon
But we’re also online!

Gonna sell you all my products, girl
My customer list is rising fast
Been saving make-up and perfume for you
'Cause female beauty’s got to last

You're so fine and you're next in line
Avon makes you pretty, yeah Avon makes you shine
Oh, your cosmetics ran out?
Your intimate wear is worn-out?
Avon can replace them in no time

Selling Avon
Working for the very first time
Selling Avon
But we’re also online!

Oooh, oooh, oooh

You're so fine and you're next in line
Avon makes you pretty, yeah Avon makes you shine
'Cause you make me feel like selling
My entire product line
“Hello, Avon calling“!!!

Selling Avon
Working for the very first time
Selling Avon
But we’re also online!

Selling Avon, ooh, ooh
Selling Avon
Feels so good inside
When I‘m at your home, and you‘re buying, and I’m making money

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Ooh, repeat customer
Can't you hear the doorbell ringing?
It’s Campaign #109!!!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   13

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wild Child JIN - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
5, 5, beautiful 5 for this excellent parody :-)
Patrick - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Did you walk or drive a Kubelwagen? This is a good parody, a topic most folks can identify with, and fits the original melody. I remember the nice elderly lady who used to bring Avon products to my sisters.
Rob Arndt - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Patrick... worse, I rode my moped!!! It was 1980 and I had a Puch Magnum XK that cost me $1000. Felt like a fool b/c I could have bought a motorcycle instead (2 yrs later) on the bet of a friend. Even my mom warned me not to get that but everyone had one back them- mostly Vespas but I went Austrian...
Below Average Dave - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
I sold Avon actually very briefly for extra money, but as a non-woman, non-make up wearing man it was very difficult because I knew naught about what I was selling, but I'll tell you I had little trouble finding buyers, but I could never get fully in to it. Please take this only as constructive criticism, but the pacing on this one was very iffy in spots, to where it sounds off to sing it out loud. I loved the idea though and really like how you tied it all together, but had to mention the pacing as I always try my best to leave honest constructive comments when I read someone's art.
Rob Arndt - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
It's b/c Madonna stretches out the third line of the chorus when she sang it and I didn't know how to stretch out Avon properly, like A-A-Avon. It just looked too weird...
Christie Marie M - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
I never got a chance to welcome you to the site the first time you set foot on AIR. I usually vote and comment on people's parodies, but haven't been around much on the site due to my irregular job schedule and that I get tired after work. I think this is good and I used to be an Avon lady as well. I was doing good with the business the first time, but after awhile, it didn't work out because it was hard for me to find customers and throw parties. Well, the highest I made in Avon was around $200, that's just it. And I felt I was just wasting my money. As for this parody, 555.
Rob Arndt - May 17, 2011 - Report this comment
TY Christie. I try hard to select good songs to parody with a mix of old material and new stuff- even Korean pop music!!! Most people here like my works but I've gotten some complaints due to pacing problems, some political judgements that are unfair, and a guy that says I post too much!!! But AIR is a cool place with mostly good people. I like it.
Rob Arndt - May 17, 2011 - Report this comment
My (Steyr-Daimler) Puch Magnum XK looked something like this: This is a rcing version but mine was 1980 stock with added turn signals and a whopping 1.5 HP 2-strike engine to attain that 30 mph!!! My brother then bored it out and it achieved 45 mph (55 mph downhill)!!! Hard to believe but I actually miss that thing. I would deliver Avon using it with my newspaper paper carrier over the handlebars filled with products!!!
Rebekah Dub - November 01, 2011 - Report this comment
As I resurrect the comment board from the dead, I'd like to say nice job on the parody! I'm a Mary Kay lady myself, but except for going door to door, I can relate to the nooks and crannies of direct selling. I also used to do Primerica, which is a financial-services company, and I had the HARDEST time finding buyers, much less anyone interested enough to let me do an FNA (Financial Needs Analysis) for them. I just don't think anyone wants to advertise their finances to a stranger... or even to a close friend or family member. Although finding direct-sale buyers can be quite difficult in this economy, I've had a slightly easier time doing so with Mary Kay than I have with Primerica. Again, nice job on your parody!

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