I'm the 'brains' on the Enterprise
Captain Kirk takes refuge
Without my trusted advice
He'd look like a stooge

I got ears, sharp as spears
I'm adroit, with my points of views
But, I'm cold as steel
Yeah, I'm cold as steel
Rigid and shrewd


Chorus:

Like a Vulcan
Sex is such a waste of time
Like a Vulcan
Only logic
Rules my mind

My ears keep perking up, Kirk
When your thoughts hold me firm
But with Doctor McCoy
We hardly come to terms


I am hung, when I'm sprung
I get hot, when pon farr takes hold
Then the gloves come off
And, I beat guys off
It's Illogical

Alt Chorus:

Like a Vulcan
Hot when it's breeding time
Like a Vulcan
Pon Farr makes me...
Loose my mind

Oooh, oooh, oooh

You'll be left, out of breath
As we fight without a ref
Coming together close
While, exchanging blows
Fighting to the death

Alt Chorus:

Like a Vulcan
Coming to take your life
Like a Vulcan
Don't you dare think
She's your wife


Like a Vulcan, don't, don't
Like a Vulcan
Don't mess with my bride
When she's for me, and adores me, and I'm horny

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't push me,
Or you'll get you're ass beat
Till they'll wondered who died?