You need help
With you sense of fashion
Business suits...with pinstripes are so dull
All your clothes
Are sewn & stitched with cotton
But I got something more mall-e-able...
(ah-hah)

Gonna dress you up in Mylar
Not plastic, not burlap
Gonna dress you up in Mylar
'Cause Mylar is shiny

Feel the silky touch of metal fabric
You'll be flame-retardant, ain't that cool?
My bridesmaids wore it when
I married Sean Penn
I'll design your coat with matching shoes...
(ah-hah)

Gonna dress you up in Mylar
Not latex, not leather
Gonna dress you up in Mylar
'Cause Mylar is shiny
Gonna dress you up in Mylar
In Mylar...'Cause Mylar is shiny
In Mylar...You'll shine ev'ry-where you go

(Guitar solo)

(ah-hah)
Gonna dress you up in Mylar
Not Tungsten, not copper
Gonna dress you up in Mylar
It might give you cancer
Gonna dress you up in Mylar
In Mylar...'Cause Mylar is shiny
In Mylar...But it might not work, who knows?

(Dress you up in Mylar)
Gonna dress you up in Mylar
Dress you up in Mylar
In Mylar...metallic and shiny

(Dress you up in Mylar)
Gonna dress you up in Mylar
Dress you up in Mylar
In Mylar...oh yea...it's Mylar-Wear!!

'Cause Mylar is shiny
You'll shine ev'ry-where you go
Gonna dress you up in Mylar
Dress you up in Mylar
In Mylar...oh yea...it's Mylar-Wear!!