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Song Parodies -> "Declined"

Original Song Title:

"If I Closed My Eyes Forever"

Original Performer:

Lita Ford & Ozzy Osbourne

Parody Song Title:

"Declined"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

I'm at badave.com
(Cashier)
Hey there
Is that all that you need
and did you find what you had planned
You know that you're next in line
so could you move it please

(Dave)
Lady,
I'm checking my bank account
Make sure my paycheck went through
Need to know I can pay you
So do not dare rush me

(Dave)
I have been on hold forever
I don't want to be shortchanged
The cashier just said whatever
Need to know that I can pay

(Dave)
Alright
I'll put my stuff up
I'll put my stuff up there to ring
My paycheck posted it seems
I'll pay for this shopping spree

(Cashier)
Rang your lager
I went through your cart
and your Mike's Hard Lemonade
That's the last beep
Do you prefer plastic, or paper now Dave?

(Cashier)
Could you swipe your card for me sir
We can finish this exchange
Is it debit that you prefer
They both go through just the same

(Cashier)
Sir could you try again please?

(Dave)
Sure but that is really strange. . .

(Cashier)
It declined again, see?

(Dave)
What the hell that is insane (noowoo)

(Dave and Cashier keep trying to get it to go through-Long Long Line develops)

(Cashier)
You know I feel sorry for you
But your card has been declined
Now I know that you're really pissed
But you are holding up my line

You don't have cash whatsoever?
I know this whole thing is a shame
You've been swiping, like, forever
Sorry but your banks to blame (Get Out)

(Dave)
It declined
It declined
My card has been declined, pity. . .
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All Rights Reserved.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - September 01, 2008 - Report this comment
You weren't declined from 5's on this parody my friend. This is also one that I can relate to, because my card got declined that one time while we were shopping for clothes, remember? So many parodies inspired by me, just kidding.... I know this one wasn't inspired by me, but I like to believe that it is.
unKnownVotrix - September 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh, . . . Mothers of Declintion!!
Agrimorfee - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
No declining 5's from you here, either. :)
Agrimorfee - January 16, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Cleanup in lane 5 again. Hearing it with Youtube now, it's hard to sing/read against it, but it's still pretty funny. Reminds me of Al's "Trapped In The Drive-Thru" come to think of it.
Matthias - January 16, 2009 - Report this comment
I don't want to agree with Agrimorfee on this one but the pacing was a tad rough in certain areas. You'll fix that when you record this one, but don't worry when I was looking over my parody of the same song I also noticed a few pacing errors, it's just a hard song to pace I guess because song of the words are stre-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eched out way to-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o long, and other lines are short and condensed. Great work with what you had though, and I don't want you to be angry that I sided with Agrimorfee (Once again), but it's just what I witnessed reading over this song to the Youtube video.
Below Average Dave - January 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Lol Matty--why would that make me angry? I actually did record this one as a paraoke and the pacing worked OK, but often as a write it's hard to see things the same. Thanks guys
bobpiecheese - January 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I'm not really sure what 'declined' means in credit card terms, but I'll take it as 'didn't work', that seems to be what it means. This may be the third parody in this round to involve shopping in one way or another, but I feel that this one is the best out of the three. 555 for you!
Below Average Dave - January 25, 2009 - Report this comment
You are correct, declined means that the transaction did not go through--or didn't work:)
Rex - January 28, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) So you were the guy in front of me at the checkout, eh? I really like this one.
Jeff Reuben - January 28, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I liked this one a lot as well! Great idea for the song, especially in the current economic climate :) The beauty of recording is that the pacing can work even of it's a little different from the original. Well done.
Below Average Dave - January 29, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Thank you Rex and Jeff, exactly on the recording comment, in fact I did a 'karaoke' of it on youtube (Search for Below Average Dave Declined) but eventually this will get an actual recording too.
Christie Marie M - January 29, 2009 - Report this comment
I echo all those comments above. BTW, I was able to pace your parody a little. I'll go check out your paraoke of your song sometime. You really made a statement concerning credit card problems in your song and that's very articulately written. I always rely on credit cards most of the time but always pay in full. I almost faced credit card debt though. Great job. 555.

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