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Song Parodies -> "Asterix the Sell-Out"

Original Song Title:

"Chip Shop"

Original Performer:

Kirsty MacColl

Parody Song Title:

"Asterix the Sell-Out"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

The unthinkable has happened: Asterix is doing adverts for McDonalds
Commercialism has just wrecked
The only Frenchman I respect
Oh, shite
For that was Asterix the Gaul
Now I'm appalled
'cause this ain't right
Yes, now I want to scream and shout
That little Frenchman has sold out
For certain
He may have fought the Romans well
But now that creep can go to Hell
He's sold his soul to Satan, well, the 'mer'cans

There's a Gaul who's advertising for McDonalds
He's traded his wild boar for a Big Mac
There's a Gaul who's advertising for McDonalds
I guess it shows that even the French'll eat crap

Asterix is so popular
He was the Gaul who's indomitable
But the lure of cash and foreign food
Has changed this dude.. it's inexplicable
For he's become entrepreneur
And I think "Quelle horreur"
He might start saying "Y'all"
The jokes no longer will hold wit
The magic potion's turned to shit
To think, they had the gall to get the Gaul

There's a Gaul who's advertising for McDonalds
Je crois ce petit Gaulois, il est fou
There's a Gaul who's advertising for McDonalds
Ast'rix the lure of money got to you too

There's a Gaul who's advertising for McDonalds
Les sangliers savoureux, il ne mange plus
There's a Gaul who's advertising for McDonalds
But if he's sold out, hell, even I might do, too
I said if he's sold out, anyone else might do, too
I said yes, he's sold out, and I'm not sure about you
He's sold out, hell, even I might do, too

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - August 20, 2010 - Report this comment
C'est Merde! (Not your parody...the act itself.) At least it wasn't for Little Caesar's Pizza! Better brace yourself, Phil. Among future "endorsement" campaigns planned for France by America are Charles Martel for Sears Craftsman Tools, Marie Antoinette for Head and Shoulders Shampoo, and Marshall Petain for Imodium diarrhea medication..."Ils ne passerant pas/On ne passe pas!"...They Shall Not "Pass"! ;D
Phil Alexander - August 21, 2010 - Report this comment
:-) ..especially the thought of Marie Antoinette doing H&S ads.. over here, they should probably get Charles I (he had the right sort of hair, and there was definitely no dandruff on his shoulders after he died). I was a bit disappointed chatting to some teenage chaps in a bar the evening I wrote this.. they had no clue who Asterix was, let alone why I thought it was so bad that he was advertising McDonalds. Feeling annoyed with myself for not thinking of "cheeseburger-eating surrender monkey" until too late.
John Jenkins - August 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Quelle dommage. For th right price, most of us would sell out, but I like the way you spoof this cartoon character (with whom I was unfamilar) for allowing himself to be exploited.
Peter Andersson - August 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Asterix partying at McDonalds? That has got to qualify as one of the worst sell-outs of all time!!

Let's face it though, we should have seen it coming, Lucky Luke's fast draw has lately been surpassed by the Tea-Party and a whole bunch of Iznogoud is ruling Baghdad and the rest of the Middle East.
Reeshar - August 30, 2010 - Report this comment
Asterix stopped being Asterix when his scenarist Goscinny died. Everything he's done in the last 20 odd yrs has been consistently out of character. It's like a loved one suffering serious brain damage: they might look the same but deep down you know they're not. It's just so sad. And the French are the biggest eaters of MacDo in Europe. The head of the European chapter is even a Frenchman. I guess that having no fast food culture of their own made them a push-over before the invader, unlike the Italians (or do I mean the Romans?) who still bravely hold out ... Nice parody.
Phil Alexander - September 02, 2010 - Report this comment
The head of Euro-McD's is a Frenchman? Sacrébleu! What is the world coming to?

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