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Song Parodies -> "Steven Seagal Tits"

Original Song Title:

"Bette Davis Eyes"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Kim Carnes

Parody Song Title:

"Steven Seagal Tits"

Parody Written by:

Porfle Popnecker

The Lyrics

His hair is solid oil
His suit tightly fits
His temper's quick to boil
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He'll bend your elbow on you
Crush your ribcage to bits
One look and you will know
He's got Steven Seagal tits

And he'll twist you
He'll chop-fist you
After verbally he's dissed you
He's a psycho, and he'd like to introduce you to his big toe
He's got Ernest Borgnine sweaty pits
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He'll break your collarbone
And make you do the splits
Until you moan and groan
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He'll have a rumble on you
Squash you flat when he sits
Hops like a kangaroo
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He'll dispose you
When he throws you
Philosophically he'll oppose you
He's obnoxious, and he's got just what it takes to make your blood gush
Weakest point, using his wits
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He's catty
Kinda batty
He's a fatty
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He'll defeat you
And mistreat you
Out-eat you
He's got Steven Seagal tits

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   2
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Funny tit-le, and very humorous and descriptive parody
Porfle Popnecker - November 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, I was afraid this one wasn't going to get commented on today. Glad you found it titillating!
Chris Saffle - November 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Very well put together. Cadence is perfect. I laughed at a lot of lines in there, and it is not easy to make me laugh. I like the line "Philosophically he'll oppose you". What makes this work is that every reference is accurate and there is no filler there just to fill out a verse or for a cheap rhyme. Great job.
Porfle Popnecker - November 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Your comments are very much appreciated!
Abbott Skelding - December 02, 2011 - Report this comment
never heard the OS before, but this was really funny and I'm glad to see a song about Steven Segal (Lawman) haha
Matthias - December 02, 2011 - Report this comment
Hilarious title! Not really a big fan of Steven Seagal (or just regular seagulls) but this was a very quality parody.
Porfle Popnecker - December 04, 2011 - Report this comment
Abbott & Matthias--thanks! Glad this one turned out funny. You never really know when you're writing them, or hardly ever anyway.
Blaydeman - December 12, 2011 - Report this comment
(AofA) The title sub pulled me in immediately! Good job!
Arwen - December 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Ages...LOL! Pretty much perfect in every way. LOVE the OS...one of my favorites of all time...and the parody was flawless.
Porfle Popnecker - December 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, I appreciate your comments very much!
bobpiecheese - December 16, 2011 - Report this comment
(Ages) Fantastic parody here. Only know of Seagal through various reviews of his films (mostly by Film Brain), but that was enough to get what was going on here. 555!
Jeff Reuben - December 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Best song about man-boobs I've seen in a long time :) That was my first reaction...awesome sendup of Mr. Seagal.
Porfle Popnecker - December 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, your comments have me all a-titter!
D-Mon - December 19, 2011 - Report this comment
(AofA) I know who Steven Seagal is, but am rather unfamiliar with him so some references went over my head, but I agree with the concensus, it was really funny!
Porfle Popnecker - December 19, 2011 - Report this comment
That's good enough for me!

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