Her couch is solid gold
Her hair like pink sunrise
Mascara black as coal
She's got Jan Crouch's eyes
She'll sing her music for you
Say Jake the Snake, she cries
Loves MC Hammer too
She got Jan Crouch's eyes

And she'll bless you
She'll witness too
Wear a big, poofy white dress too
She's precocious and she knows just
What it takes to make a few bucks
She's like Tammy Faye when she cries
She's got Jan Crouch's eyes

She will not hold your hand
She says it isn't right
Likes gray hair on her man
She got Jan Crouch's eyes
If you need to be healed
You know she won't think twice
Holy power she wields
She's got Jan Crouch's eyes

Don't believe in, MTV and
Only watches her TBN
She's a hard case, and she don't like
Rock unless it's Point of Grace
She thinks that Carmen is "fly"
She's got Jan Crouch's eyes

And her lipstick
Is an inch thick
All those lashed are lick n stick
She's in prayer mode, and her favorite film
Is that hit The Omega Code
She thinks that Pat Boone's wise
She's got Jan Crouch's eyes

She will bless you
And witness too
Poofy dress, yeah
She's got Jan Crouch's eyes

Call you honey, take your money
She's funny
She's got Jan Crouch's eyes