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Song Parodies -> "The Face Lift"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"The Face Lift"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

There was no dumber evenin'
Than the night, Kenny Rogers
Bet his old face and gambled
On a plastic surgeon's knife
He must' a found a bargain
Got some "Save A Dollar" special
And does not own a mirror
Worst mistake of his life

Did the white hair numb his brain,
And just take away all senses?
Was it to please a girl friend,
Or did he get bad advice?
Was he thinkin' with the wrinkles?
Were the stores all out'a Botox?
He looks like a monkey, now
With weird eyebrowed pig eyes

You shouldn't mess with Mother Nature
Or the laws of gravitation
Face lines reflect character
No surgery should erase
His new look's so artificial
Just a face with no expression
It's ammunition for Jay Leno
And not the K.R. of old days..

You gotta' know not to nip it
Know not to tuck it
Know just to let it be
No vanity yield..
You never buy a Face Lift
From the guy who done Burt Reynolds
Or you're gonna' look like Kenny
When the scars are healed

That ain't the Gambler's face
A real sick imitation
You're gonna' wind up like a duck
When you go hire a quack
Now, doc's the only winner
And Kenny is the loser
'Cause faces ain't like bad used cars
You can't take 'em back

It really was a blunder
A real extreme make-under
Gone is the trademark look
They stole it while he slept
And when he played the face card
The Gambler lost the gamble
He threw away his yesterday
The face he shoulda' kept...


You gotta' not to nip it
Know not to tuck it
Know just to let it be
No vanity yield
You never buy a Face Lift
From the guy who done Burt Reynolds
Or you're gonna' look like Kenny
When the scars are healed

You're gonna' look like Kenny
When the scars are healed..

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   11
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - May 22, 2006 - Report this comment
It was with some trepidation that I clicked on this parody...but it's an excellent one, AFW.
alvin rhodes - May 22, 2006 - Report this comment
your reconstruction was uplifting
carol - May 22, 2006 - Report this comment
5 surgen's knives.
Michael Pacholek - May 22, 2006 - Report this comment
I've heard of "The Tuck Rule," but this is ridiculous. Of course, this is Amiright, where ridiculousness is a virtue -- in fact, a duty. Kenny should've gotten Dolly Parton's plastic surgeon instead of Joan Rivers'.
AFW - May 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Royce, alvin, carol, and Michael
Phil Alexander - May 22, 2006 - Report this comment
A cut above ;-)
AFW - May 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil
Red Ant - May 22, 2006 - Report this comment
"real extreme make-under"; great line AFW, funny work. 5s.
MrMacphisto - May 22, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL... Nice Burt Reynolds reference... 5-5-5
Larry Hensley - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
You worked well on this parody, looks good
Rick C - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Some great lines here. I haven't seen Kenny lately but, if he looks like Burt, I can understand the parody. 555
AFW - May 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, RA, MrMac, Larry, and Rick C. Yeah, the only way you can tell it's him is by the introduction..

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