Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "The Pitcher, Kenny Rogers"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"The Pitcher, Kenny Rogers"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

Wed. nite in Texas,Texas Ranger pitcher, Kenny Rogers attacked a TV camera man..shoved him, and threw his camera to the ground..
On a warm summer's evening, at a ball game in Texas
We saw an angry player, prob'lly should have had more sleep
He's with the Texas Rangers, and his name is Kenny Rogers
Ain't talkin' 'bout The Gambler, this one's a pitcher veep

Got mad and grabbed the camera, when they tried to take his picture
And shoved the guy behind it, then he threw it down real hard
Cause of this, he's had to listen to a long Bud Selig lecture
And still could face suspension, have his image marred..

Now, the camera guy he knocked down, will no doubt sue his ass off
That million dollar salary, could shrink up just a tad
And there may be an assault charge, from police investigations
So, if you're gonna' play this game, Boy, you better learn to not get mad

Just kinda' play 'Texas Hold'em'..Know when to fold'em
Know when to walk away, know when to smile
You gotta stay lot cooler, when you're at that water cooler
Givin' in to gettin' pissed off, only cramps your style..

Now, every Pitcher knows that the secret to surviving
is knowing how to throw a curve, a knuckle or a slide
Your coolness is a winner, and anger is a loser
So, if you can't take the hard bumps, you should not take the ride..

Your actions do not warrant a new contract extension
You brought it on yourself, this rap you may not beat
Celebrity means "Limelight"..goes with the territory
Stay out of the 'Pitchin', Man, if you can't take the heat!

Or, kinda' play 'Texas Hold'em'..Know when to fold'em
know when to walk away, know when to smile
You gotta' stay lot cooler, when you're at that water cooler
Givin' in to gettin' pissed off, only cramps your style..

Givin' in to gettin' pissed off, only cramps your style..

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 4
 3
 
 5   10
 7
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Billy Boyd - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
I don't follow baseball, but I did hear about this story. You wrote about it very well. And using a Kenny Rogers (singer) song to write about Kenny Rogers (pitcher) was clever and funny. 5's.
Johnny D - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
I saw the news video of this event. MLB prima-donnas who do what Rogers did need to be banned from baseball for life. A jerk like Rogers, who apparently thinks that because he's worth millions of dollars he has the right to commit assault-and-battery & get away with it, deserves nothing less. 555 for the parody, AFW, good job.
AFW - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Billy and Johnny...Yeah, I see that he did get some game suspensions and a fine, since I submitted this..
nally - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTO but I agree with Billy Boyd about the concept. I'm a big baseball fan so I know all about what Kenny (the player) did; ESPN showed it several times this past week.
Red Ant - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
A very good OS and a great parody. I've wanted to do this OS for quite some time and nothing has come together. Great job AFW.
AFW - July 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Nally and Red..
Stuart McArthur - July 04, 2005 - Report this comment
is that right? - did that really happen? - talk about giving amirighters an early Xmas present! - you grabbed this by both horns and rammed it home, AFW - well done - 555
AFW - July 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stuart..and yes, it did happen...They do all things big in Texas, ya know?
Rick C - July 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done, AFW! Yeah, I think these guys gotta lighten up a bit. I mean, if you want to make millions of dollars, there's gotta be some drawback, right? 555
alvin rhodes - July 04, 2005 - Report this comment
i'm glad somebody bashed this idiot...5s
AFW - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rick and alvin
Michael Pacholek - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Kenny Rogers, whose performance in Game 4 of the '96 WS set up the greatest single-game Yankee comeback (Number 13, Jim Leyritz, catcher, Number 13), and who delivered the most infamous base on balls in baseball history in Game 6 of the '99 NLCS (walked home the pennant-winning run for the Braves, killing the Mets)... and yet threw a perfect game in '94. He must be Forrest Gump's all-time favorite pitcher, 'cause you never know what you're gonna get. But, hey, stupid is as stupid does. But this parody is very good, and that's all I have to say about that.
AFW - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
You sure know your baseball, Michael...and thanks for the comment and vote.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/kennyrogers8.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1522