Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "The Swordsman"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"The Swordsman"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

On an evening after workday I went to dojo
To do the kendo as I've ever done before
There was new face as the sensei, an older kind of person
- With a battered shinai, dented bogu, hakama well worn

So we did countless suburi, kirigaeshi
We trained the footwork and we trained to run ahead
And the way he handled his sword I knew he was a master -
That kind of person - who'd with one strike hit you dead

As our session was but over, I bowed and said "Sensei,
I'm just a dilettante on noble way of sword;
I see you are a kensai - the way you do it
Could you enlighten me with couple of wise word"?

"You got to know when to hit 'em, know when to block 'em
Know when to blow kotey - and when to strike a men
But your real sword is your mind; so keep it keen and sharpened
When you strike with spirit then you know you've really scored with ken!"

"Now ev'ry swordsman knows that the secret to surviving
Is knowin' when to fall back and to block both highs and lows
But the aim ain't to defend; it's scoring your opponent
You do sure not win the game if you but parry foeman's blows"

So when you face your foe you should know deep down inside
Your sword is just extension - of your spirit and your mind
So look him in his eyes see where he's concentrating
Then you rush ahead, yell your kiai and let your ki unwind"

I redressed on my bogu, he put his on, took shinai;
We took kamae and began our last swordfight
I looked him in his eyes, so brown and warm, and saw it;
He would score a men - so I swung up my sword and set it right

"You got to know when to hit 'em, know when to block 'em
Know when to blow kotey - and when to strike a men
But your real sword is your mind; so keep it keen and sharpened
When you strike with spirit then you know you've really scored with ken!"

Now I did block his blow and he just rushed aside me
I took kamae and readied for another go -
Then I heard his wise warm words - "go, attack with your spirit!
Now that's the way you win the game with just one single blow!"

I raised my bamboo sword - and he lift up his shinai
We both did aim kotey and we did get - oh - blocked
Now if a gaze could kill - I would have bought the farm - oh
I stared him with my deep blue eyes and almost got him shocked

I stroke again - now, do; and I was sure surprised now
I heard a knack as my sword hit his armoured side
Then I felt my head's been hit - the fight did end in even
But that sensei taught me lesson which will deep in me reside

"You got to know when to hit 'em, know when to block 'em
Know when to blow kotey - and when to strike a men
But your real sword is your mind; so keep it keen and sharpened
When you strike with spirit then you know you've really scored with ken!"

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Bizarrely, Susanna, I wrote a parody to this OS with exactly the same title, although the subject matter was VERY different. Although I didn't understand most of the terminology, this was a fine effort. 555
Susanna Viljanen - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Okay, here is some kendo terminology: dojo = training hall, shinai = bamboo sword, bogu = kendo armour, hakama = baggy trousers, sensei = teacher (any teacher), kamae = ready stand, suburi = "empty" strike on air, kirigaeshi = one of the training schemes, kote = gauntlet or strike on gauntlet, men = visor or strike on visor, do = cuirass or strike on cuirass, kiai = battle cry, ken = sword (any).
Michael Pacholek - January 11, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm not sure if I like this one. I'm on the fence about it. No, really, as they say in Canada, "Car ton bras sait porter l'épée, Il sait porter les cinques." (From the French version of the national anthem: Though thy arm knows how to bear the sword, it knows how to bear the fives.")

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/kennyrogers10.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 629