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Song Parodies -> "Never Work At Wal-Mart Again"
Original Song Title:
"Love Will Tear Us Apart"
Original Performer:
Joy Division
Parody Song Title:
"Never Work At Wal-Mart Again"
Parody Written by:
Agrimorfee
The Lyrics
Inspired by true events, dedicated to M.G.
Well the work's not that hard
But the pay rates are low
Sales and rebates are high
Job promotions don't grow
Now just one of these days
I'll tell off all these toads
Then I, I won't work at Wal-Mart again
Why is the manager cold?
The one from soft-lines
I want to murder that broad
No respect. Made me cry
Just what is her deal?
I'm breaking out in hives
I, I won't work at Wal-Mart again
I can't get a good night's sleep
Open door is now closed
Happiness has gone south
My paid vacation's on hold
Job at Starbucks looks good
I can't take it no more!
'Cause I, I won't work at Wal-Mart again.
But the pay rates are low
Sales and rebates are high
Job promotions don't grow
Now just one of these days
I'll tell off all these toads
Then I, I won't work at Wal-Mart again
Why is the manager cold?
The one from soft-lines
I want to murder that broad
No respect. Made me cry
Just what is her deal?
I'm breaking out in hives
I, I won't work at Wal-Mart again
I can't get a good night's sleep
Open door is now closed
Happiness has gone south
My paid vacation's on hold
Job at Starbucks looks good
I can't take it no more!
'Cause I, I won't work at Wal-Mart again.
Copyright 2005. soft-lines=clothing and accessoriesFor anal-retentive music fans, I will note here that the song was first recorded in 1979, but this song is so entrenched in the '80s decade that I don't care what Decade Police might be inclined to say here.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 18 | 17 | 17 |
User Comments
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Fab job, Agri. In a recent music poll in the UK, Joy Division were voted one of the 10 most important bands of the 80s, despite the fact Ian Curtis pegged it in May 1980...go figure. 555
Amen. 5s
DKTOS but, trust your pacing, as well as Kristof and John...555
Rick C--you didn't vote yet. (thanks for the vote[s] of confidence! :))]
Despite being a huge New Order fan, I never liked Joy Division - except for this song. Good parody... 5,5,5
is this autobiographical about you, Agri, or biographical about MG? I recall the OS, but the last line of each stanza paces to "I'll never fall in love again" and now I can't get that out of my head - 555
OK, voted now. Sorry about that.
555 From a former Joy Division fan ;)
Stu, M.G. is the victim who inspired it. That's all I can say.
Oops, you're right, Agri. I voted now, sorry.
[SOTM] What's this? For years, I've heard NOTHING but good things about Wal-Mart, then suddenly, this. How odd. Nicely done.
[SOTM] Short but very sweet 555
(SOTM) Agreed here Agrimorfee. Good job on this one.
SOTM--DKTOS, but the Starbucks line made me laugh!
(SOTM) You mean you don't like wearing your blue vest? Shocking ;)
(SOTM). I see you're working more humour into your parodies. Good job, I liked this one, maybe because I can relate a bit too much, but anyway.
(SOTM) DNKOS, but agree on the sentiments
not sure if i should love wal-mart or hate them. perhaps you should send this to cnbc so they can use it in their next 'walmart - behind the smiles' story. good job.
(SOTM) Well, this should be the Target of many comments =) Good job!
(SOTM) See above for comments and votes.
(SOTM) A job at Starbucks looks good? YIKES
(SOTM) First time I heard of Wal-Mart I thought they sold walls, but here they turn out to be some sort of thrift store. I won't comment on what I've learned about their corporate office. 5's
(sotm) already commented, and already answered by you Agri, but I'm even more curious now!
Hey now. Work at Wal-Mart. Stock the shelves there. All day.
Sorry. I had to throw in that view for balance.
I really like the OS, but it just occurred to me that these may be the actual lyrics, since they're pretty much indecipherable. Anyhoo - nice work, Aggro - I particularly like "One of these days I'll tell off all these toads." And please thank MG for letting us live this vicariously through her/him, so we don't have to go through it ourselves.
Sorry. I had to throw in that view for balance.
I really like the OS, but it just occurred to me that these may be the actual lyrics, since they're pretty much indecipherable. Anyhoo - nice work, Aggro - I particularly like "One of these days I'll tell off all these toads." And please thank MG for letting us live this vicariously through her/him, so we don't have to go through it ourselves.
Does kind of make me glad that I don't (and in all likelihood never will) work for Wal-Mart :-D
(SOTM) Still great, Agri...and extra kudos for taking on a British underground classic.
SOTM.. I knew someone who worked at Wal-Mart once. He could relate to this so well. I still like shopping there, though. As evident in http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/beatles353.shtml Very well done, Agri. 555
"The Wal-Mart, it's lowering it's prices to stop us. I can't make it, son, I gotta buy this wrench set. Go on without me and defeat the Wal-Mart" - paraphrasing from South Park
DKTOS, but right on about the subject matter. Works pretty well as a free-read too.
DKTOS, but right on about the subject matter. Works pretty well as a free-read too.
Yeah, that South Park episode was hilarious, especially when it pooped after imploding. I'm sure we can all relate with the loathing of menial employment, Aggy, I certainly share your sentiments. And with Emi on staff, Starbucks sure does look enticing...
I found this greatly amusing. Beinbg that walmart is a wicked store when it comes to buying cds. Sure the prices may be low, but they never have any CDs with parental advisory. But they always seem to have the edited crap. Great parody, 555
[AmiRight Classifieds] But, this is the type of job (service sector) that's the future of America, according to our leaders. Ooh, there's a parody idea: "Someday We'll All Work At Wal*Mart". Well done.
For all yer 555s, thanks fellas! MG is still there as we speak, surviving.
(Classifieds) See above
(Work) As Celine Dion said out of the words of Matthias, "Wal-Mart Can't Go On!!!!"
Classifieds: See above, nice to enjoy it again!
(classifieds) ah yes, I remember this one - fine job, Agri (er, I don't mean the job at Wal-Mart tho)
(SOTM) See above
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