"Once upon a time
'Couple hours ago..."

Tommy had a couple of shots
Drank a couple beers
Coronas and Schnopps...it's tough- his gut
Billy was the driver today
Driving Tommy home, said "Are you okay?"
Bad luck... oooh bad luck...

Had more than he could hold on, and too much pot,
It doesn't make a difference after twenty-two shots
A twenty-four pack, and that's a lot for one
"Oh no man, I'm not!"

Whooah, he's half way there
Whooah, pukin' on the stairs
"One more round, I'll make it I swear"
Whooah, pukin' on the stairs

Tommy's got his six-pack of bud
Now he's holding in what-a used to make him chuck so much... he's tough
Drank himself a couple of kegs
He gets up in the night, and he makes it
To the hallway, sometimes

He couln't hold on to what he bought
It doesn't make a difference, gonna get some gut rot
It's in his stomach, oh wait it's not
He's dumb... now give him a shot!

Whooah, he's half way there
Whooah, pukin' on the stairs
"Down there man, the bathroom's right there"
Whooah, pukin' on the stairs!

Now if you can't hold on, to all your shots
At least carry with you a bucket or pot!

Whooah, he's half way there
Whooah, pukin' on the stairs
Drank a vat of Kahlua I swear
Whooah, pukin' on the stairs...