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Song Parodies -> "Hookin' for Drugs (in All the Wrong Places)"

Original Song Title:

"Lookin' for Love"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Lee

Parody Song Title:

"Hookin' for Drugs (in All the Wrong Places)"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

I just got married and moved out of town
Bought some kids and a vinyl fence
I'm settling down
But this relocation has frazzled my nerves
It's hard to be a street-walking crack whore
Out here in the burbs!

Where I've been
Hookin' for drugs in all the wrong places
Hookin' for drugs in green public spaces
Picking up johns rounding the bases
At grade school kickball games
Knockin' on doors like a girl scout with cookies
In search of smack for my nookie
I blow for blow
Hookin' for drugs

I strip at the strip malls and park in the parks
I really love my neighbors
Except for the narcs
But there's no red-light district to practice my art
So instead I'm the blue-light special
Down at K-Mart!

And I keep
Hookin' for drugs in all the wrong places
Hookin' for drugs at the Scrapbook Oasis
Parkin' my van in handicapped spaces
At Sam's Club and Applebee's
Hopin' to score a morphine prescription
Tradin' my pediatrician
My junk for junk
Hookin' for drugs

One day I felt guilty and told my priest
And right away my sales increased!

He joined me
Hookin' for drugs in all the wrong places
Hookin' for drugs at St. Mary Teresa's
Workin' the crowds at bicycle races
And the drive-through at Dairy Queen
Hopin' to feed my speedball addiction
Down at the Franciscan mission
My crack buys crack
Hookin' for drugs

It's my junk for junk
Hookin' for drugs

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   14
 14
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

MasonR - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Yeah, suburbia sucks. This parody, on the other hand, is brilliant! Great wordplay throughout!
Heidi Fleiss - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
High-ho, Sir Spaff! Hugh Grand and I I hole-partedly endorse (n' resemble) this high'larious parody!
Henny Youngman - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
It's getting crazy out here in the 'burbs! The other day I saw a melee of Feds, meth, & cheap blondes at Bed, Bath & Beyond.
Old Man Ribber - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
At least you can score a hit of 5-5-5 anytime. Good job. ;D
Timmy1000 - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Great theme and some great lines in this one - really liked the blue light special line.
Matthias - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
There was some great lines in here as usual Spaff my favorites were: "Hookin' for drugs at the Scrapbook Oasis" and "But there's no red-light district to practice my art So instead I'm the blue-light special". Brilliant although I do not endorse slutting it up for drugs... Especially when you sound like Johnny Lee.
John Barry - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Fifteen Nail Mary's and go in piece.
Christie Marie M - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
You're sure looking for 5's in all the right places with this one, Spaff! Nice to see you writing again! Great take on the song and well-executed parody! Enjoyed it lots!
adagio - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Spaff. Spaff, Spaff! It was extremely funny up to the point of the priest....I object.
Fiddlegirl - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Absurdist hilarity (or is that hilarious absurdity?)... Either way, I'm ROFL! 555
Phil Nelson - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
This is primo stuff, man! 5's
Jack Wilson - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
This is HILARIOUS love love it, 555 and the recording
Spaff.com - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanx, MasonR & Heidi Ho & OMRibber & Timmy & Matty & Johnglebarry & CMM & Fiddler & Phil & Local Celeb!

Henny: You'll see the same thing at the Men's Whorehouse. I guarantee it.

Patagio: I had no choice but to go with "priest" because it rhymes with "increased." (It's the rules of the game. Don't blame the player.) If it makes you feel better, pretend I meant a druid priest or a Pythian priest or the band Judas Priest.
Pyth - February 12, 2010 - Report this comment
That was awesome!
adagio - February 13, 2010 - Report this comment
ok....you meant druid priest and 5's : )
Spaff.com - February 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Glad we could find common ground on that, Patagio. And thanks, Pyth.
Dee Range - July 10, 2014 - Report this comment
Why u rascal, I gotta give you 1's for this filth....15 of 'em! Pretty fly for a Utah guy

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