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Song Parodies -> "Lookin' for Sex with Handsome Young Pages"

Original Song Title:

"Lookin' for Love"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Lee

Parody Song Title:

"Lookin' for Sex with Handsome Young Pages"

Parody Written by:

Tony Wiseguy

The Lyrics

This song was originally performed by Bruce Lee. I just don't know if he wrote it before or after the kung fu movies?
He's been an alcoholic for a week or two.
Said he got molested as a boy, is it true?
Trying to pass blame, he's guilty as sin.
Shaking down teenagers and losing again.

He was lookin' for sex with handsome young Pages.
Not really caring what there age is.
His creepy emails were so outrageous.
What was he thinking of?
All you Pages better run for cover.
Now he's not after your Mother.
Another pervert trying his luck.

Old Congressmen were stiff and uptight.
Thoughts of hot young guys kept him awake at night.
Yes he has some nightmares every now and then.
He sees himself married with children.

He was lookin' for sex with handsome young Pages.
Not really caring what there age is.
His creepy emails were so outrageous.
What was he thinking of?
All you Pages better run for cover.
Now he's not after your Mother.
Another pervert trying his luck.

Now who knew what when, no one's sure.
Now he masturbates to kiddie porn.

No more lookin' for sex with cute young Pages.
No more worrying what there age is.
Goodbye emails that were outrageous.
What was he thinking of?
Pages don't have to hide undercover.
He wanted to be there big brother.
Yes, its true, he's out of luck.

No more sex with Pages.
Not worrying what there age is.
Goodbye emails that were outrageous.
What was he thinking of?
Pages don't have to ide undercover.
He wanted to be their big brother.
Yes, its true, he's out of luck.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.8
How Funny: 1.8
Overall Rating: 1.8

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice job on the Foley mackerel. Alas, Don Whiting already wrote one to Bob Seger's "Turn the Page."
John Barry - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Le page au Foley. Good one.
Michael Pacholek - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
John, YOU ought to be put in a cage for that awful pun.
Linda Terhune - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
The ACLU is the Men Boy Love Association. You demoncrats who support child molestation grow up. You're all atheists who are afraid of Christians and that's why you mock us. Baby killers, pornographers, child molesters, who all have simple minds.
Linda Snores - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
The ACLU supports everyone's civil rights, the Man Boy Love Association does not have the right to molest or take advantage of children, but like it or not they do have a right to think that should be legal just as the KKK have a right to their beliefs and you have a right to yours, sorry that you misunderstand the ACLU to support they beliefs of the Man Boy Love Association, but it's funny they have represented both Pro-Choice and Pro-Life groups in the past, does that mean they are both for and against abortion--using your logic the answer has to be yes. . .but arguing with you is like arguing with a TV, like you it pays no attention unless you agree and the person on the television continues rhetoric wether or not it agrees with you because it just doesn't hear you--like you Linda. BTW, Megan's Law was signed by Bill Clinton--a DEMONCRAT as you put it. . .so who needs to grow up? It sounds to me like you are a little bit behind the times. . .oh but wait, the Ann Coulter lovers of the world usually are, that's why they are Republican in the first place. . .no nothing but hate, and they use the bible as a reason to hate, while the bible is against hate and judgement, kinda of hypocrisy in my opinion but then again so is being Pro-Life and Pro-Death Penalty at the same time. . .
Michael Pacholek - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Well stated, L.S. And on top of that (or so to speak)... MARK FOLEY IS A REPUBLICAN! Explain that, Linda!
TW - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm a Libertarian, but let's be honest, its easy to make fun of the Republicans. They can't stay out of trouble. Its especially fun to make fun of Ann Coulter because she suffers from incurable foot-in-mouth disease. Its going to be a sad day for song parody people when the Democrats regain control.
Yoidy - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
My drink is over...bend the page 555
John Barry - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Linda, not only are you not a Christian, but your simplistic, ill-inforrmed generalizations reflect badly on you.
Up Your Song - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Yes, you pagan Dems really do have a lot to explain about Gerry Studds and why you never threw him out for his affair with an underaged page. Screw you, John. Linda very obviously is the true Christian here, just as obviously as the rest of you baby-banging lefties are not. GERRY STUDDS WAS A DEMOCRAT, Michael. Likewise, CHARLES RUST-TIERNY THE KIDDIE-PORN-LOVING-ACLU CHAPTER HEAD WAS A DEMOCRAT! Explain why you defended that, you flaming gaystapo hypocrite! Glad you agree that the Dems are determined to silence all points of view but their own, lest we make fun of them, TW. They really are like the Nazis they accuse everyone else of being: always making themselves out to be the victims even as they pour out their hate propaganda blaming us for all their problems and calling for our persecution. If Clinton is supposed to have been the first black President, then Bush is surely the first Jewish President. One more thing, Michael, are you going to step out and condemn Bill Maher for openly stating that he wants Cheney dead? No? I thought not! See you in Hell, little boy.
Up Your Rebute - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Well well well--Dems are Nazis yet you draw NO similarities between the two. . .I can however draw quite a few to the Conservative party Linda, oops I mean Up Your Song. . .For one the Nazi party spend lots of money on Concentration Camps and labelled sex offenders (which in that time included anyone they knew to be gay, or those who committed immoral in their view sex crimes) to make it look like only undesireables would be targetted and it would be just to better protect their society. Later on they would expand labelling and use of these prisons, now known as concentration camps, to the Jewish. . .they used "to protect our children" and rhetoric to the extent of calling those who oppossed them child molestors or people who support child molestors (seen clearly in here with Linda, I mean your, opinion of the ACLU) as reason for their actions. They, like you, offered no actual statistics as to their reasoning for their rules or ideas. They over-rode their obligations to the people by claiming war crisis with neighboring countries. . .America/Iraq ring a bell. . .I can draw lots of other similarities, but one of your rhetorics will follow reason. . .but the thing is, us Dems don't have to use rhetoric and name calling, we use reason and truth, because we have the knowledge and know-how to defend our positions with proof. . .not hysteria and a book that is meant to stand for LOVE--the bible. . .Last I checked The Bible advocates Peace, Love, Harmony and it's strictly against passing judgements as there is only one true God in it's pages. . .so which part of the bible Linda, I mean Up Your, are choosing to follow--yeah that's what I thought, the pages that suit you best. If you are truely as morally decent as you say you are, you'll stop with your rediculous 1850 rants and grow up. Homosexuality, even if you believe it to be wrong or a choice--though you can't prove it, exists and people have a right to live that life. People have a right to believe whatever they want. . .there are laws we must all abide by, but the Republicans think they are above these laws and that they have the right to choose who must and must not obey such laws. It's funny how those who support the Republican Extremist view points always sound so much like those they support, like Christian Sally and Proud American or Up Your Song and Linda Tehrene, it's almost like they are the same person--hmmmm
Immoral Liberal - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
The gay-bashing practiced by the religious right today is equivalent to what blacks went through in the 60s. Terhune has never offered proof for any of the misguided and fictional rhetoric that she posts. She calls democrats (baby) killers but sees nothing wrong with the innocent people who have died as a result of the unjust war in Iraq. She can't tell you why she hates gays, nor why they shouldn't be married of have children - here she resorts to chapter and verse in the bible - yet try to find it and it's not there. The hypocrisy is staggering. She conveniently ignores situations such as those that Ted Haggard, Scooter Libby and Mark Foley found themselves in. Instead, we get the same old rhetoric: "Teddy Kennedy", "Bill Clinton" or "Hillary" - and she believes that throwing out these three names somehow justifies her misguided position. I'll take a nation of Clintons and Kennedys over a nation goverened by the morals of Ted "Speed Helps Gay Sex" Haggard, Mark "Love those little boys" Foley or Scooter "I only lied under oath, I never had sex with that woman" Libby.
Up Your IL - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
You damn Dems use lies and name-calling and everything else... and the only crime you lying traitor bitches consistently punish is being Republican. War-mongering? It was all right when Clinton did it to cover up his mistresses. (Been to Kosovo lately?) Pederasty? It was all right when Studds did it. Cruel child porn that shows toddlers and babies tied up and screaming as they are brutally raped? Apparently, it is all right when the former ACLU chapter head does it, because we will never hear of it from your lying press. (If this had been, say, a conservative Catholic priest, on the other hand, we would be hearing about it wall-to-wall 24/7 for a whole week at least.) Everything the left says is a lie, and every hero of yours is a dictator, mass murderer, child rapist, or worse. Grow up? Not one leftist I have ever met is out of his diapers yet! Name-calling? I have seen you call us every name you know! Your favorite, I notice, is fascist. You, Mr. Up Your Rebute [sic] obviously cannot read (the Bible or anything else) or write, cannot reason, cannot think, and cannot even comprehend the truth (ever hear of lies, damned lies, and statistics?), much less tell any of it. All you Bush-hating traitors who cry and whine about the war never gave a damn for all of the Iraqis Saddam Hussein fed into wood chippers and acid baths or the Kurds he gassed. IL here has even tried to claim Iraq was better off under Saddam! Better off under your terrorist pals? Tell you what, IL: go live under Khameni and Ahmadinejad. By what passes for logic with you, you should be far better off under their version of Sharia than under anything we have here. If you admit you were spouting nonsense and we really are better off under Bush, then shut up and buy stock in Halliburton as your heroes Soros and Moore do. Yes, a crime is only a crime when a Republican does it. Leftists are all above the law, just as they accuse our men of being right before they ruin their careers with trumped-up charges that almost always prove to be overblown or flat-out false in the end. Give me Libby or even Foley over any Clinton, Kennedy, Obama, or even Edwards; not Nixon, not even Harding could be worse than a lefty's picks.
Up Your IL Rebute Two - March 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Not wasting much energy on this one because it won't take much. . .but in your first line you say "You damn Dems use lies and name-calling and everything else". . .here are other quotes within' that same paragraph

"and the only crime you lying traitor bitches consistently punish is being Republican"
--names so far, liars, traitor, b**ches

"your lying press"
--no press, that aparently we control, are also liars (never heard of Fox I guess)

"Everything the left says is a lie, and every hero of yours is a dictator, mass murderer, child rapist, or worse."
--We have now been called liars again, dictators, mass murders, and child rapists

"Not one leftist I have ever met is out of his diapers yet"
--So now we are babys, and yet child molestors at the same time

"You, Mr. Up Your Rebute [sic] obviously cannot read"
--Add illiterate to the list

"cannot reason, cannot think, and cannot even comprehend the truth "
-Incomprehensive, stupid and resonless added

"ever hear of lies, damned lies, and statistics"

--again, lies, statistics are lies you say, but you have nothing to back up your own--but I bet you believe that all sex offenders have 200 victims (which do some quick math, that means every person in America has been raped at least twice)

"All you Bush-hating traitors who cry and whine about the war"
--Add tratiors and whiners--which BTW I didn't vote for Bush, so my opinions are not of traitor descent

"Better off under your terrorist pals?"
--Add terrorists (which I think is funny since what we are getting at is the terrorist OSAMA is still alive and kicking while we fight another country that had nothing to do directly with 9/11)

"By what passes for logic with you, "
--Add illogical

"Yes, a crime is only a crime when a Republican does it."
--Add Two Faced to the list (Although I never said that the ACLU member who did that doesn't deserve the full arm of the law or any democrat for that matter.)

"Give me Libby or even Foley"
--You just verified what I'm saying with this statement, the exact opposite of what you said, it's only a crime when a republican does it? Then what is taking Mark Foley over a democrat with no past criminal history.

The above laundry list, that's name calling, that's exactly what you accuse us of doing. . .since you like to use cliches. . ."Pot calling the Kettle Black" ring a bell?. . .

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