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Song Parodies -> "I Hate My State-Run Faggot School"

Original Song Title:

"I Hate Myself For Loving You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Parody Song Title:

"I Hate My State-Run Faggot School"

Parody Written by:

Offender

The Lyrics

My ode to GLSEN and the benighted state of Massachusetts.
Eyes wide, what a sight: teacher's tool!
Told me discreetly it's his "family jewel!"
He's got no children; I'm not that big a fool!

"Get back! That's my crack you're messin' around!"
Can't turn my back, or he'll pull my pants down!
He gets overzealous; says I'm too tightly wound!

I hate my life every night and day:
I hope he'll reach the eternal fire someday!

I hate my state-run faggot school!
Can't get free from my shop teacher's tool!
I'm gettin' stalked. I can't leave; that's the rule.
That's why I hate my state-run faggot school!

That's right: it's a blight goin' to school;
Teacher's a pervert; whole school board is a fool!
I wanna see'em hangin'! Hang'em slow! Make it cruel!

Hey man, bet you can't walk half-right!
I saw you drinkin' with the teacher last night!
Bet he had you sittin' down on his stalagmite!

We're getting screwed eight ways from Sunday!
In the concrete sense, or abstract, either way...!

I hate my state-run faggot school!
Can't get free from the showering rule!
We're gettin' stalked; our gym teacher's a tool!
That's why I hate my state-run faggot school!

I think we're screwed, what else can I say?
They'll touch our parts, and they'll take our pride away...

I hate my state-run faggot school!
Can't get free from the principal's tool!
We're gettin' stalked. We can't leave; that's the rule.
That's why I hate my state-run faggot school!

I hate my state-run faggot school!
Can't get free from the gaywads who rule;
Our government is just NAMBLA's tool!
That's why I hate my state-run faggot school!

I hate my state-
Run faggot school!
I hate my state-
Run faggot school!
I hate my state-
Run faggot school!
I hate my state-
Run faggot school!

I hate my state-run faggot school!!!
And if thinking that a bunch of blatant child molestors who want to spend taxpayer dollars on teaching our seventh-graders how to fist each other deserve to hang slowly and then burn in Hell is "homophobic" then so be it! If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas; if you bed down with the likes of GLSEN, you'll wake up in Hell. It's that simple.

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.1
Overall Rating: 3.1

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 6
 
 2   0
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 3   3
 1
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

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Royce Miller - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Your thoughts are well expressed.
Diddims - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
One word: jerk!
Spaff.com - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Your use of terms like "faggot" and "gaywad" - and your suggestion that homosexuality equals pedophilia and rape - are repugnant. I assume from your screen name that your objective is to offend - that's setting the bar ridiculously low, don't you think?
Michael Pacholek - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage and Laura the Quack Schlessinger would approve. Sane people do not.
2LD4U - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
What makes you think that gays would want to have sex with YOU, Offender?!
Royce Miller - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Offender, there is something I'm curious about, after reading some of your parodies--what age range are you in? Spaff, I think the name Offender is pretty appropriate, because everyone on this website gets offended about something, and it seems on a pretty regular basis. It's nice to be popular and have people "in your court", but saying what one thinks is still allowed, and still important, at least to me. I find homosexuality repugnant. I may not choose to call them the names that Offender has, but he's telling it like he sees it (I'm guessing "he's" a "he"). Telling it like one sees it....when all the parodies become little PC recitals, and all the correct words are used, it won't be interesting anymore.
Spaff.com - May 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Royce, you've read my stuff, so you know full well that I'm not after "little PC recitals" or a stifling of free speech. I resent the implication. Free speech rocks. That said, if someone chooses to use his freedom of speech to spew repugnant crap, I may choose to use my freedom of speech to say, "Hey, that's repugnant crap." The fact that all viewpoints are equally free does not make them equally defensible, and the fact that you're defending THIS viewpoint is disappointing.
Offender - May 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Well said, Spaff. I will, however, point out that this song is mostly predictive; that is, right now GLSEN is raping the children mentally, not physically. If you look up the word "Fistgate" on a search engine sometime, you'll understand what I mean. I also recommend looking up "1984" and "Big Brother is Gay" together. Though this is "only" mental rape, I am saying that I don't really see how this kind of mass brainwashing can lead to anything but physical seduction and rape. I should also mention that though I certainly come down hard on the gay activists in this song (mainly because it's their fault this stuff exists, and I have never heard that even one of them has disavowed any of these evil programs), GLSEN's activities are just as likely to help "straight" molestors seduce and exploit young children. Consider this my way of saying "Hey, that's repugnant crap!" I should probably take aim at Planned Parenthood for its part in similarly rapacious programs, but that's another song for another day.
Royce Miller - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Offender, I appreciate your information here. I looked up Fistgate on the internet and learned something.
Brandon - June 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Interesting your little hate filled song is based on a much better version by Joan Jett (who happens to be a lesbian). If she read this she would totally kick your ass.
11 is the new 18... - April 27, 2011 - Report this comment
...in the city of FILTHadelphia where the faggots have taken over.

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