I was supposed to have been a Lutheran priest or an RMU alumnus
That was the way that my parents perceived me
But it didn't turn out in either way
Though I couldn't fit the part too dumb or too smart
It's so funny how we all turned out
I guess we are Penn Staters our parents warned us about

You know I could have worked on golf when the money was big
Or hopped a plane south to Hampton Roads
And when they came after me I went to Penn State Shenango
Taking classes there full time again
And when I got a good grade I would get a balloon
To hang in my room 'til it deflated
Tell me where are the flashbacks they all warned us would come

We are Penn Staters they couldn't figure out
We are Penn Staters our parents warned us about

Hey, hey, Graham Spanier, take us to Happy Valley with you
Clear skies bound for Penn State, traveling on I-80

Now I got dollars in my wallet to spend on some balloons
When they used to be cheaper ago
Sometimes I wish I was back in my childhood days
Before I knew what investing meant

Seems all the girls want all my balloons
Don't tell me that I ought to get ripped off
'Cause I love drinking Pepsi Twist and playing afternoon golf

We are Penn Staters there isn't any doubt
We are Penn Staters they still can't figure out
We are Penn Staters who love to sing "Rise and Shout"
(Shake it up, Penn State)
We are Penn Staters our parents warned us about