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Song Parodies -> "Tootsie Roll"

Original Song Title:

"Centerfold"

Original Performer:

J. Geils Band

Parody Song Title:

"Tootsie Roll"

Parody Written by:

Mark Scotti

The Lyrics

Something for the sweet tooth in us all...
Can it walk?
Can it talk?
Sticking in my teeth?
My yummy yummy candy pulls my fillings so complete
Holes so large like craters, I can never stand the pain
It sends my dentist running, his x-rays show the blame
Now I sigh, I'm wondering how I'll ever smile again
And there's the girls all screaming as they throw things at my head

(Chorus)
My teeth have holes, my junk food just takes it's toll
My candy is a tootsie roll
Candy is a tootsie roll
(2x)

Putty knife, fill my teeth
I make those holes look obsolete
Tootsie there, I turned to look, and it soon caught my eye
I was thinkin, what do I do, the next time when I chew this food
I just took a hold of it and shoved it all inside
That soft and chewy candy, too hard to just pass up
I drank and all my fillings fell into my great big cup

(Chorus)
My teeth have holes, the size that can house a mole
My candy is a tootsie roll
Candy is a tootsie roll
(2x)

Oww ooo ow ow ow ow
Ooo ow ow ow ow ow ow ow (3X)

Now listen:
I can't say, it's never planned
My thinking is in Candyland
I hope that when my pain is gone
I'll have some more for chewing on
Cavities, yes I have,
Sweet tooth I won't deprive it
Take me to a candy store and chew some more in private
My lower jaw has just been wrecked
Enamel from my teeth is stripped
Oh no I can't deny it
My candy sin I got to buy it

(Chorus)
My teeth have holes, looks just like a swiss cheese roll
My candy is a tootsie roll
Candy is a tootsie roll
(2x)

Oww ooo ow ow ow ow
Ooo ow ow ow ow ow ow ow


Alright!
Alright!
1,2,3,4

Ooo Ow

Copyright 2009

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Below Average Dave - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Cute idea Mark, and luckily this song isn't as repetitive as some other songs so the repeating chorus isn't as big of a deal. One thing you can consider when a song is really repetitive though, is variations on choruses. It's not a rule, and sometimes it's not even the best thing to do--but my friend and fellow parodist "Red Ant" put it this way "Repeating the same joke over and over makes the joke lose it's charm" in regards to repeating the chorus. But alas, good idea, to a great original song, 555
Mark Scotti - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Dave, and point taken. I did try some slight variations on the choruses(describing the condition of the teeth differently), but you are absolutely right on the advice, and I really appreciate it, as I want to grow and flourish in this new society of great talents. My last 3 submissions were kind of on the darker side, so I wanted to lighten things up a bit.
Phil Alexander - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
..just realized I was retyping pretty much what BAD said, so I won't labour the point. But seeing as I'm typing while missing a tooth, this parody has a certain resonance for me ;-)
UnKnownVoterss - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Sir, I still like ~TootsieRollPops ~ . . . . even though I do prefer ~Jolly Ranchers~, Yeah . . I still do, Cowboy, Dave!
alvin - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
sweeeeeet....much better than the OS
Mark Scotti - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil, Alvin & UV!!!!!!!!!!
Joey A - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Awesome parody really enjoyed it!
Mark Scotti - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Glad ya liked, Joey!!!
Christie Marie M - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
I say this phrase very often, but I've got the biggest sweet tooth in America! It also reminds me of Dahl's book "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" where I read one of the passages "Cavity Filling Caramels-No More Dentists!" As a child, I bit on a gummy bear and it got my loose tooth out. Anyways, I've enjoyed this parody! 555!
Mark Scotti - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Christie!
DJ Blaze - June 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Love this parody. Perfect pacing, funny theme, and overall greatness. 555. I also think the Captain Jack version of this song is good.
Mark Scotti - June 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Sticky sweet thanks to you, DJ!!! I enjoyed writing this one as well!!
John Jenkins - May 16, 2010 - Report this comment
Should there be a tootsie roll police to protect you from yourself? I don't think so. Well done, Mark!
Mark Scotti - May 17, 2010 - Report this comment
"Sticky" thanks to you, John!
theJuicyRanchera - May 17, 2010 - Report this comment
. . . . yeah, I still prefer daJollyRancher, Sir ! They're made in Brazil, too !
Mark Scotti - May 17, 2010 - Report this comment
thanks, Ranchera...

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