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Song Parodies -> "The Rise of the Great Paul Mariner"

Original Song Title:

"The Rime of the Ancient Mariner"

Original Performer:

Iron Maiden

Parody Song Title:

"The Rise of the Great Paul Mariner"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

RIP Paul Mariner My favourite player when I was a kid & one of the main reasons I became an Ipswich Town fan, & definitely the reason I had the hairstyle I did! Best tribute is this quote... "I was lucky to work with great strikers all over the world, Lineker, Romario, Ronaldo, van Nistelrooy, Shearer, Figo & Paul Mariner at Ipswich Town" Sir Bobby Robson. I've submitted this as my tribute & hope it appears within a week of his passing. I know he was a rock fan with a sense of humour, so I'm sure he'd have appreciated it! If you play the original song, but read through these, good luck & keep up!
See the rise of the Great Paul Mariner
From the North, went to be a Pilgrim
Mesmerises match-day defences
Plays here & there, he'll score a hatful, wait & see

& the Ref plays on as a tackle passes by
Caught by his spell as Paul Mariner shoots on sight

Driven east to East Anglia, for a price
To a place to join Bobby's team
There a Butcher shows him of Gods of Rock
& in God's name what a stroke o' luck, it seems

& Ipswich sail on, South to the North
Through the West & East go the Tractor Boys, on & on

Paul Mariner's skills, the boy's a good omen
His teammates can't believe what he's done
He breaks the net & they just embrace him
& make themselves, his partners in crime

"Take 'em on & on & cross the ball to me
Take 'em on & I can score a goal or two"

Just get your cross-es in with a vengeance
A game o' two halves, the first has begun
His teammates bring good luck to Paul Mariner
Right foot or left, the dead ball is struck

"Take 'em on & on & cross the ball to me
Take 'em on & I can score a goal or three"

Play after play, play after play
He's struck the post & crossbar
He's tried most delicate of chips, he's only getting closer
Pass here, pass there - everywhere, &
All the fans did shriek
Pass here, pass there - everywhere, your prospects lookin' bleak

There goes Paul Mariner
In comes a cross from the line
Oh, how can he fail with the wind in his sails? - what a sight

See... onward we come
Onward he leaps, out of the Sun
See, they have no clue
They have no chance, 'gainst the one-two

Breathe & then catch your breath
We've rolled the dice against you
These wins Paul Mariner scores in belong to us now

Yes, two or three-one
They drop their heads, they've no defence
See, see they're bereft
Scores on his head, right foot & left

"One after one by this star studded team
Too quick be home or away
Each turned over, with a ghastly pang
& cursed they were outplayed
Five times fifty & two men
(Again be away or home)
With heavy thump, a lifeless lump
They drop down (except one)"

The search for more treasure, the prize
Paul Mariner again did rise
But two out of three treasures
Villains they stole one from he

Power by the light blue moon
We pray that the season's not doomed
Have we been forsaken?
Ipswich are God's creatures, too

Then, the spell starts to break
The albatross falls from the neck
Setting us free, Europe can see
Captain hoists treasure again!

Hear the groans of the Norfolk turkeys
See them stir as they start to cry
Round two kept 'em in good spirit
But they can't speak cos they're dead behind the eyes

& revenge is still sought, but it's in their heads
Cast into a trance & their nightmare carries on

UEFA Cup is finally lifted
& Paul Mariner sights his home
As he waves from the open-top bus
Football that night & Paul Mariner's comin' home

& then a thought came sailing towards him
It was a joy he could not believe
Likened it to, the birth of his three sons
Does not a life get better than this?

& a World Cup bow for England beckoned him
His medals remind Paul Mariner of his wins

Paul Mariner's bound to tell of his story
To tell his tale wherever he goes
Modest was he, so I tell it for him
Precious are those, few & far between

& we bid farewell, but not goodbye to him
& the tale goes on & on & on & on
© 2021 Grandpa (14.7.21) I'm no singer nor musician, so if you can perform it, please send me a version & lots of royalties!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - July 15, 2021 - Report this comment
I never saw him play, but I saw him on the sidelines saw him on the sidelines coaching for both New England and Toronto as they played the New York Red Bulls the last few years. A nice tribute.
Grandpa - August 10, 2021 - Report this comment
Wrote & submitted too quick, so see link to fine tuned/better version.

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