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Song Parodies -> "Can't Pay My Bills"

Original Song Title:

"Run To The Hills"

Original Performer:

Iron Maiden

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Pay My Bills"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Tax time comes April 15th
And thus we strain to get money
They won’t take bribes, Must pay the fees
Or else they’ll claim plasma TVs
My credit card's an empty well
Sold model trains, need more to sell
The taxman came, ignored my plead
And now I’m stuck with bankruptcy

Turned off my water, baths are erased
My toilet is all that remains
The IRS just wins they have no souls
Home heating now is open flame
Internet’s stolen, and I want it back!
There goes my sewage with one final smack

Can’t pay my bills
Turned off my lights
Can’t pay my bills
This really bites!

Trash is huge with no garbage days
Bags keep on spilling out globs
Living like cavemen inside of my den
My wife yells, “Go get a job!”
Sharing the Friskies inside my cat’s bowl*
Burning my couch to keep warm by the coals

To pay off bills
Checked classified!
Lost all life’s frills
No car to drive!

[Wicked guitar solo… Can’t afford a real guitar so it’s an air guitar]

Want… Fries… With… That…
At…. Mc…. Don…. ALDS!!!!!

McJob pays bills
Cooking French Fries!
My wife sells kilts
To Scottish guys!
We have no skills
But still we try!
There’s tons of bills
All Super-SIZED!!!!!!
* Props to Agrimorfee for this idea

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
I know the feeling... though I'm not quite ready for a McJob just yet :-)
littleKiltyCakes - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Squire Matthias, Fav line: my wife makes Kilts for the Scottish gents! Shiverin' ShamRocks . . . Erin go Bragh, Sir !
Mark Scotti - February 18, 2009 - Report this comment
If votes were tax refunds, you'd be verrrrrrry rich!!! Good one...
Matthias - April 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Too spelling errors It should be "Checked classifieds" and "ignored my pleas" (My bad... I don't feel it's worth submitting for those two errors though)
Matthias - April 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Heh, heh... I just caught that now... "Two" not "Too" spelling errors, lol
Agrimorfee - May 05, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artitrsry) Hey you thought of eating cat food, not dog food, so that's cool. :) This was pretty funny, and very topical; a few minor pacing quibbles here and there. I like how you turned the scream near the coda into a complete sentence.
bobpiecheese - May 19, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Yikes. Remind me to find out the Aussie equivelant to the IRS and stay the hell out of their way! $555 for you!
Rex - May 19, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Nice description of the Income Reassignment Service. Their motto is "the more you make, the more we take!" :-)
Below Average Dave - May 20, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Pacing wasn't quite perfect, but still all and all this one was pretty good, and right now--I think everyone can relate to 'bills'

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