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Song Parodies -> "Show Of A Thousand Characters"

Original Song Title:

"Rime Of The Ancient Mariner"

Original Performer:

Iron Maiden

Parody Song Title:

"Show Of A Thousand Characters"

Parody Written by:

Chris Pollman

The Lyrics

About all TV in general, but the title, etc, is about the shows with an over-stocked cast, which often confuses me if it's all to quick and sudden, yeah, all that... This was a VERY difficult song to parody, for me anyway, so go easy on it. Jeez, I think I got Carpal Tunnel writing this one...*Whew!*
Watch the show with a thousand characters
See their show as they run season three
Mesmerizes one of the channel execs.
Sit there and gaze on the wonders of TV
And the TV stays on, as the time passes by
Caught by it's spell, and the character's tell their tales

Driven on the show that's called "24"
Watch a show where lost of people die
Through the show come the blondes on "The Simple Life"
Aired with some game, hoping big bucks they win

And the show plays on, season; is fourth
Through the static screen, and the TV show drags along
The characters play, a ton of good people
Their castmates try, to do what's not done
But when the show's big, they win get the money
And buy themselves, a billion cars

Airing on, and on, and on upon the screen
Airing on and on and on 'till all is won

Some cable shows, begin at eleven,
Some terrible shows a curse on TV
The castmates act, out all of this drama
About murder, and people in love
And the show goes on and on and on TV
And the play goes on and on for you and me

Day after day, day after day,
I watched "Friends" and "Simpsons"
As idle as a lazy slob, whose leg is just a gimping
Cable, cable, watched it all
And all the shows I see
Cable, cable, pay the bills
Addicted to TV

There goes a character,
John Ritter off "Eight Simple Rules"
But how can it go, he's the star of the show, yes he is...
See...all night I watch
Watching all night, numbing my brain
See...Up past curfew
I have no life, glued to the Tube

Watch all the news reports,
Weather and some local news
I see the characters, and they are confusing me now
Then...cast one by one
Their ratings soar up, viewers; enough
Watch...the news reports
I've seen it all, my mind's gone numb

"Don Pardo Narritive"

The show it plays on in my mind
The characters boggle me blind
Along with my best friends
They watch TV a lot too

And at twelve o'clock noon
I watched that Spongebob buffoon
With my eyes I'm straining them
Those TV shows all them too

Then...the Tube starts to break
The TV is on the fritz
Breaks down, like crap, pissing off me
Then, I go and buy one more....

See the sight of the satellite pornos
Hear them bleep out Ozzy's every single word
Fraiser's funny and worth the watching
All of that stuff, is the center of my life

And Punk'd is still on, swimsuit specials show
I'm cast into a trance of the women wearing thongs
Now the shows are finally staring
And the characters act their parts
Spirit Rovers, crawl along Mars's surface
Form their own path, and the Planet's not a home

And there's a bowl of chips sitting by me
It's such a joy, I feel so relieved
Every good show, makes me just keep watching
Staples of life, (aren't) reality TV

And Simon says, "You sound like crap"
But then Paula says the good things there are
The caracters's are, no more, confusing
I watch TV, every day of my life
I spend my time, sitting my big armchair
And I must love all shows that aren't gay

And the Queer Eye guys are plain frightening
And the shows play on and on...
I didn't bother to parody the narrative in the middle, I just stuck in that Don Pardo thing cause it sounded funny. I'd really like to see what authors like Phil Alexander or, or all you other really good writers, could do with this song...In my opinion, it's Maiden's best.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason. - April 14, 2004 - Report this comment
How long has this been sitting here without a vote to its name? Chris, will you ever forgive us? I know Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "Rime," but not Iron Maiden's. Perhaps others are in the same boat. (Pun intended.) TV really is an albatross around our necks - you've expressed that nicely. Thanks for the shout-out, too. And Philbo: get over here.
Know 1 can hear you dream - April 15, 2004 - Report this comment
I bet you had the TV on in the background when you wrote this. Great effort on a very difficult song.
Jeremy - June 12, 2008 - Report this comment
An excellent effort with difficult material
Agrimorfee - June 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Somebody indeed should do the narrative. Maybe I will at some point...

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