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Song Parodies -> "Don't You Haunt Me"

Original Song Title:

"Don't You Want Me"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Human League

Parody Song Title:

"Don't You Haunt Me"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

You were working as a waitress in a sushi bar
Where I ate food

I puked it out, I shook and coughed and turned blue and brown
Hurling up sea urchin stew

Now five years later on I run "The World of Your Meat"
Success has been a snap for this dude

But when you came to see me there you wanted some chow
And said you wanted steak that mooed


Don't -
- don't chew raw meat!

You know I can't believe it when I hear you want it bleeding!

Don't -
- don't chew raw meat!

You know I don't believe you when you say it's safe as sushi!

A porterhouse sublime,
and prime ribs sound divine --
-- you'd better cook 'em well or we will both be sorry!

Don't chew raw meat, baby!
Don't chew raw meat, NO-O-O-O!
Don't chew raw meat, baby!
Don't chew raw meat, NO-O-O-O!

( instrumental )

I was working as a butcher in my "Meat World" spa
And watched you chew

Raw meat you ate -- it sent you to a much better place
Now the world is without you

For five years I have had a good fun-filled time
I think of you

But now you think it's time to give my life frightful moans
Your ghostly gusting cry said "BOO!"

Don't -
- don't you haunt me!

You know my pants are peed in when I hear your gruesome screaming!

Don't -
- don't you haunt me!

You know they don't believe me when I say that you won't leave me!

I think it's time to find,
a way to change your mind --
-- and ex-or-cise you back to all your ghostly buddies!

Don't you haunt me, baby!
Don't you haunt me, NO-O-O-O!
Don't you haunt me, baby!
Don't you haunt me, NO-O-O-O!

Don't you haunt me, baby!
Don't you haunt me, NO-O-O-O!
Don't you haunt me, baby!
Don't you haunt me, NO-O-O-O!
Don't you haunt me, baby!
Don't you haunt me, NO-O-O-O!
Don't you haunt me, baby!
Don't you haunt me, NO-O-O-O!
Don't you haunt me, baby!
Don't you haunt me, NO-O-O-O!
Don't you haunt me, baby!
Don't you haunt me, NO-O-O-O!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   12
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rex - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
The steak may be raw, but your parodizing is well done.
Jonathan S. - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Um...okay. It's really weird, but somehow I felt it deserved 545.
alvin - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
'don't chew raw meat'....lmao...classic
McKludge - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
I had an idea on the back burner about doing a "Don't You Haunt Me" parody around Casper, but ya snooze, ya lose.
I believe the term is "carpaccio" 555
Kristof Robertson - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
With Mad Cow Disease rearing its ugly head again here in the UK, this is strangely poignant. Wonderfully silly...and great to see you submitting again, JD. 555
Phil Alexander - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
:-) Reminds me of the Denis Leary routine where he says something along the lines of "better still, bring the live cow. I'll carve off what I want, and RIDE the rest home!"
Strangely enough, the first album I bought was the one this came from (Dare)... played it through once, and never again.
(psst, Kristof - it's foot and mouth, not mad cow)
MrMacphisto - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL... good one...
AFW - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Just thought I'd ghost by and leave you some fives
Johnny D - August 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Rex, Jonathan, alvin, McKludge, Kristof (heh heh, I'm BA-AACK!!), Philbo, MrMacphisto, and AFW.
Peregrin - August 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Chew do good work JD !
Johnny D - August 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Pippin!
John Jenkins - August 07, 2007 - Report this comment
I liked the sarcasm of the "safe as sushi" line.
Meriadoc - August 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Very bizarre, but a fun read.
Johnny D - August 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, JJ & Merry.
Jonathan S. - August 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Just FYI: I agree with alvin on "Don't chew raw meat" being an EXTREMELY clever sub.
stuart mcarthur - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
way way better than the OS - and "don't chew raw meat" is way way better than the OS as well - has the masterful stamp of JD all over it, this one - 555
Peter Andersson channeling Bart Simpson - August 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Don't have a cow man!
Johnny D - August 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jonathan, Stuart, and Peter.

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