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Song Parodies -> "Trombone"

Original Song Title:

"Alone"

Original Performer:

Heart

Parody Song Title:

"Trombone"

Parody Written by:

Mari Aranoff

The Lyrics

I couldn't resist making my husband the butt of another joke. He has a knack for playing any stringed instrument (as well as writing, arranging, recording, etc.) and loves to experiment. Recently he brought another one home. I haven't warmed up to it yet. It has also provided a lot of comedy relief for our friends and scared the cats. But I'm really open-minded... really...
My husband plays a mean guitar
And on the bass he's quite the star
But one day in an antique store
He felt he had a real big score
And I just can't seem to jump for joy
Because he bought a brand new toy
Trombone

'Til now, I always loved hearing that tone
His brilliance on the strings, but not the woodwinds
And now he makes me weep and moan
Why did he buy that trombone?
Why did he buy that trombone?

I love him dearly so it's hard to
Tell him that his horn playing sucks
And how those bleeps and blats sound so much
Like cows in heat and old dying ducks
And it feels much like a millstone
And for music sins he should atone
Trombone

I know it will sound better if I'm stoned
I miss the dulcimer and banjo
I hope he always plays alone
Why did he buy that trombone?
Looks like his circuits are blown
It feels like the Twilight Zone
I must melt down that trombone
Trombone
Trombone
Songs by RAD & MAD, aka Rick & Mari Duncan, can be found at website

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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Johnny D - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Trombone....trombone....must....resist....obvious....joke....must....simply....s­ay....good parody....5-5-5 ;-)
Steve K. - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
My own confession: I once picked up a trombone and quickly figured out how to play "Mary Had A Little Lamb". Fortunately for my parents, siblings and future roommates, I gave up because "Jingle Bells" was too difficult. Yep, better stick to those string instruments.
John Barry - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Maybe Rick and I can do a trombone-sax duet.
Mari D - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, and whenever Rick wants revenge, he can get out the recording of me playing the clarinet.
Leah Lockhart - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice one! I love "his brilliance on the strings but not the woodwinds..." though technically I guess the trombone isn't a woodwind. Still works. Good job.
Rick D - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I guess I'll have to let this one slide.
Jeff Reuben - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Mari: Great song. Rick: Great comment =)
Mari D - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, everyone, for the feedback and interesting comments. Yes, Leah, the trombone is not a woodwind but it fit the scan better than "brass." Rick has made some interesting sounds on woodwinds as well. That reminds me of an old bumper sticker: "Trombone players do it in seven positions."
martha - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
very funny Mari.... don't know if you spotted this little gem that was on the L word Those Lithuanian trombone players are awful! "He made it with cigarette and hatcheck girls, hostesses and twenty-five-cent-a-dance girls from the ballrooms of 43rd and Eighth. He made it with three of the musicians who played with Glorious Gloria Parker and Her All-Girl Rumba Orchestra, among them a Lithuanian trombone player named Gertie, whom he made love to against a wall of flour sacks in the storage room of the Pan-American Club in the Bronx."...
Billy Florio - August 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I understand how you feel.....my dad bought a Concertina....he has no clue how to play it, but that doesnt stop him.....lol, anyway, good parody
Ashkicksass - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Can't believe I missed this one yesterday...it's freakin' hilarious!
Arwen - August 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Back from vacation and I'll never get caught up...but this is FABulous, Mari!!! So funny! 5s!
Jerry2 - March 18, 2005 - Report this comment
I myself play the trombone in concert, jazz, and marching band, and have been told many times that the trombone is not only the coolest looking instrument, but also has a wonderful sound to it. I do not find this parody enjoyable because I love my instrument and do not see why some can't understand the beauty of it. In fact, my nickname, Jerry2, came from a senior who plays trombone, and I use it all the time. I am in love with my trombone and am planning on getting a new one very soon. Thank you for posting my opinion.

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