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Song Parodies -> "Store Greeter"

Original Song Title:

"Maneater"

Original Performer:

Hall & Oates

Parody Song Title:

"Store Greeter"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Don't you hate it when you go to places like K-Mart or Wal-Mart and are ambushed as soon as you hit the entrance by a Greeter? Yeah, it may be nice to have a cart shoved your way for shopping but many times these are Seniors or other annoying people that flash that fake smile and then attempt to make conversation beyond "Hello" or "Shopping cart?" If you stand there and respond it may take forever to get your shopping done. The term "chat you up" here is just talking, not the English usage for flirting (usually with a girl)!
They stay just out of sight
These Front-End retail types
They’re out of view
As you near the store
Watching and waiting (anticipating)
They got their eyes on you
Gonna nab you at the door

And then unexpectedly
There’s a cart
Easily in reach
That wicked smile
As you’re ambushed
By an employed Senior
“Welcome to…” chatter
If you wanna go shop
Gotta talk to get that cart!

(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
Watch out shoppers
They'll chat you up
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
It’s a store greeter
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
Watch out shoppers
They'll chat you up
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
It’s a store greeter

I wouldn't talk if I were you
You’ve got shopping to do
They have a plan
These greeters at K-Mart or Wal-Mart
Forget the chatter
Oh, the service is there
But they can delay your start

“Can I help you with (fill in the blank)?”

(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
Watch out shoppers
They'll chat you up
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
It’s a store greeter
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
Watch out shoppers
They'll chat you up
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
It’s a store greeter

[Instrumental Interlude]

Oh-no!
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
Here he/she comes
Watch out shoppers
They'll chat you up
(Whoa-oh, here he/she comes)
(Watch out) It’s a store greeter
(Oh-oh, here he/she comes)
(It’s a store greeter)
Oh, they'll chat you up
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
Here he/she comes, it’s a store greeter
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
(Watch out)
They stay just out of sight
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
Here he/she comes
It’s a store greeter
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
(It’s a store greeter)
They have a plan
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
Here he/she comes
Watch out shoppers, watch out shoppers
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
Oh, watch out, watch out
Watch out, watch out
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
(Yack, yack) It’s a store greeter
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
(It’s a store greeter)
They’re watching and waiting (anticipating)
(Oh-no, here he/she comes)
Oh-no, it’s a store greeter

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 4
 4
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   28
 28
 28
 

User Comments

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Phil N - December 05, 2011 - Report this comment
I understand your annoyance. I saw Hall & Oates sing this in concert once years ago
Porfle Popnecker - December 05, 2011 - Report this comment
I don't know what's worse, the ones that greet you or the ones just standing there staring off into space!
Rob Arndt - December 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Yeah Porfle, like at the box-stores!
John Barry - December 05, 2011 - Report this comment
I ate this up!
Rob Arndt - December 05, 2011 - Report this comment
TY JAB :)
pickle - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Wal-Mart own Asda in the UK - store greeters that loom up out of nowhere saying 'Can I help you?' when you're just browsing really get to me!

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