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DKTOS? - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

For those who Don't Know The Original Song, it's temporarily available at spaff.com/dktos

Stuart McArthur - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

ha! - you're such a witty bloke Spaff - archangelina Jolie - LOL! - Pope John Paul George Ringo - LOL! - map'll/chapel, "Where the Square ain't square but the nuns ain't either" - LOL! - but I'll leave some for the others....555

Royce Miller - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

I imagine some will take offense, but I never saw the Pope as one who is holy, so I understand your being over the hoopla.

Death To Triple One Voters - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

To the cretin who voted 1 for pacing: it's obvious you dktos. Read the first comment and go to the URL listed there. I can understand why you may have voted 1 for how funny and overall, though.

Rex - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Hmmm...if Spaff becomes Pope, does that mean all the liturgical music will then come from AmIRight?

Johnny D - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

HILARIOUS !!!

Johnny D - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

And, may I add, this parody is in the truest spirit of Saint Tom Lehrer, author of the immortal comedy masterpiece, "The Vatican Rag" ! Brilliant, Spaff, simply brilliant ... I have no doubt that JP2 and the Heavenly Host and Hostess and Her Divine Cupcakes are all having a COSMIC GUFFAW over this hilarious parody! Remember --- I believe The Creator has the best and most unconditionally-forgiving sense of humor possible --- so I think you, Spaff, can count on receiving a special Blessing-Of-Humor from The One Who Lit The Match That Sparked The BIG BANG!

Kristof Robertson - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

I genuflect. 555

Adagio - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Royce...holy...."devoted entirely to the deity or the work of the deity " If anyone was holy it was the Pope.

Spaff, that was so very tacky...that kind of stuff is unworthy of you. You used to be funny enough without resorting to trash.

Johnny D - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

All readers of this Spaff-parody, I invite you all to read my parody titled,
"Have A Sense Of Humor":

http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/glencampbell9.shtml

Agrimorfee - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Oh Lordy, you have done it again. My jaw has dropped on my desk. Pax Vobisquick, Donna NoBiz Patchemup! 555

Dee Range - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Spaff, I would vote you POPE in a heatbeat, but it is actually a step down from being THE KING OF PARODY hehehe. Jusy another ho-hum, mind-bogg-ling effort from YOUR HOLINESS. I suggest you start writing something a little funnier: as POPE, GOD gets to judge your parodies now :-)

Royce Miller - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Adagio- I applaud Spaff's honesty, when the easy thing to do would be to jump on the bandwagon-- the nice, polite PC parade--it's the frankness and not the funniness, that shines here, to me; I'm just not impressed with the glorification of man. That's my humble opinion.

Red Ant - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Okay Spaff.com, NOW I'm convinced you are not from this world ( as several other Amirighters have speculated ). " ....pimpin out the popemobile " and "...Archangelina Jolie ". LOL, those alone deserves a 5 for funny. Only complaint here is that it rhymes TOO well, as TOS has several close-but-not-perfect rhymes ( you REALLY need to work on those ). Pretty sure GnR would never sing this, but it is hilarious to imagine Axl doing so. ....Red Ant presses the automatic Spaff.com voting button ( a.k.a. the unlisted 555 choice )......

John Paul Simon II - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

A Spaff.com-style communion is only a notion away...

Say 5-5-5 Hail Marys, and you shall be forgiven for your puckishness, young man.

John Barry - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

No papal bull here. Brilliant!

John Paul Simon II - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Oh, yes, Spaff, I did neglect to mention that it does rhyme too well. It's just too well-crafted, clever and inventive. In general, you'll be a better parodist if you try to stay closer to the mediocrities of the hacks who wrote the OSes. Just some helpful advice.

Red Ant - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

I was just joking about that part of the comment.

Claude Prez - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Ooh, if this is tacky, maybe I should rethink my upcoming Deep Purple parody, "Pope on the Walker"... Just kidding, I think. Anyway, TMGLM (Too Many Great Lines to Mention).

alvin rhodes - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

what a scream...my favorite of the day

Adam Eccleshall - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

The Gospel of St. Spaff?

That cracked me up :-)

pms - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

WOOWEE. I thought the pope songs I wrote were sure to doom me to roast in hell. Hee-hee, I'll save you a spot right next to me.

Tim Mayfield - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Quite a bit more risque than the Monty Python boys. Church members from the X-Generation may be excommunicated if found listening to this one. V-V-V's

Jack Wilson - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 555!!!!!!!!!!

Melhi - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

I loathe the original song... but THIS I love. Beyond hilarious!

Michael Pacholek - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Thy rod and thy Spaff, they comfort me.

wapner - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Pacholek, did you just 1-1-1 this?

Spaff.com - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Bless you all for your comments.

"Death to" and "wapner": 1's don't bother me; they're really a political statement rather than a performance evaluation. But I'll admit to finding 4's disappointing.

Johnny BD: Mmm...cupcakes.

Adagio: It ain't satire until it offends someone. Thanks for filling that crucial role.

Spaff.com - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment

P.S. In case you're wondering, I am not making fun of JP2's death here. My sincere opinion is that death sucks. For the record.

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

You is a-crllaaazy good, a-yes? A-once a-pun a-time. I'm a-getting a-heart papaltations from a-your grlleeaaatness!

Spaff Fan - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

It's the timing on this parody not the content in my opinion that makes this inappropriate. Perhaps waiting until after the funeral and when the election process would be in full swing would have been more appropriate. Jeez Spaff you didn't even wait until the man was in the ground before you posted this. The man deserves the same respect as any respectable world leader. Would we have done this to JFK or Reagan during the period they rested in state?

Spaff Fan Responder - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

You miss the point. The whole structure of the Vatican City scam is being pointed out here. And I'm sure alot of people think exactly what is said in this parody, they just don't have the eloquence to put it this way.

Spaff Fan - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

And all other world governments don't have their scams? Why is this one being singled out then? Your argument still doesn't account for the bad timing which was MY POINT exactly, which you have failed to defend with your argument.

Spaff.com - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

Wow - a battle of the pseudonyms. I won't argue that this is "inappropriate." Most of my stuff is inappropriate to somebody. At least I hope it is, or it wouldn't be satire. Hell, even freaking "Pepsi Blue" has angered a few people.

Let me reiterate what I said in my previous comment: I'm not making fun of JP2's death here. This isn't about that. In fact, I was careful to make it NOT about JP2 (the person) at all. It's about a dumb guy (played by me in a bit of typecasting) wanting to be the next pope.

If GWB dies in office, will I write about wanting to be the next POTUS? That's a stellar suggestion, actually. I envision a smackdown with Dick Cheney. Sweet.

Stuart McArthur - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

I can't understand why you don't use your real name, Spaff fan

Come on....what's the worst that can happen?

Spaff Fan - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

I have never used my real name out here, why should I start now? Although I am not, aren't you the least bit curious then who "Spaff Fan Responder" is as well?

No Name Given - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

I don't know that GWB will check out in office, but if he resigns or is recalled, then dip Cheney would have to become POTUS. (That is, in the real sense.)
By the way,this was a excellent parody. Pay no attention to the one-sters; they're just asking for trouble.

Spaffic One - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

Excellent, as always, Spaff! I love the line "Hey - pull your mitered head out of your past". Clearly, the only reference to the recently departed pope, is your line "Pope John Paul George Ringo's my name!" Sheer coincidence that he shared names with two of your four favorite guys. Come on people -- it's PARODY! 555!

Agrimorfee - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

"Jeez Spaff you didn't even wait until the man was in the ground before you posted this...." If he wasn't the Pope, he would have been in the ground by now.

Scrawny Johnny - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

EXCELLENT!!! BEYOND EXCELLENT!! This parody, I must say, is the GREATEST PARODY I have ever read during my one year and a quarter tenure here at amiright!! Jesus himself is probably laughing at this!! And Royce Miller, I agree with you...though the Pope was a good man, I just don't grasp the notion of him being more pure than everyone else. On a final note, I would have to say my fav quote was Spaff's response about satire- It's not satire until someone is offended. That is the truth and I'm going to use that quote as a motto to anything that deals with parodies. Excellent writing, excellent topic, excellent everything!!!

Rick Cormier - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

Fantastic !! Love your work! 555

Dusty D - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

*wipes tears from eyes* Beautiful, simply beautiful. I dont find this song insulting at all. Just awesome. 555!

Your Worst Nightmare - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment

True, the pope is overrated, but nevertheless, it is distasteful and rude to joke about his death.

Spaff.com - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment

Thank you all for your substantive (and transubstantive) comments.

I'm not making fun of JP2's death here. This isn't about that. In fact, I was careful to make it NOT about JP2 (the person) at all. It's about a dumb guy (played by me in a bit of typecasting) wanting to be the next pope.

Perhaps I should have said that before. Twice.

Guy - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment

YWN and others - I don't think Spaff was laughing at the Pope, just near the Pope and maybe just a bit too near for some. I have mixed feelings about this and none I wish to share here or now. I will say the parody had a lot of very clever lines and it really brought out a lot of the misconceptions and conceptions of the Church. It is parody in its truest form of which Spaff is a true master. Personally I'd had waited until the election process was in full operation as someone suggested above before posting. I think the effect would have been much more profound.

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment

Well, I hear that technically it doesn't have to be a cardinal, that they can choose any male Catholic in the world, so with a campaign song like this you might be in the race. Just don�'t try to walk on water, some swift boat veterans might come at ya...

Michael Pacholek - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment

Spaff: Please be assured that I gave you the highest vote this system allows, all fives. A mighty fortress is your talent.

Michael Pacholek - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment

"Spaff Fan": Considering that Vaughn Meader's career crashed after JFK was killed, and the fact that only King Kong could claim a "lap-top" computer in 1963, and that "internet inventor" Al Gore was 15, I'd say no, we wouldn't have done this for the grandson of John F. Fitzgerald. Enough time has gone by that everyone feels comfortable about making fun of Jack, for his Bahston accent, his womanizing, and mostly for Ted. As for Reagan, he was never worth the trouble. If there's one good thing the Pope's death has accomplished, it has reminded us that he had a bigger role in the downfall of Eastern European Communism than Ronnie did in his acolytes' wildest dreams -- and I make no apologies, even in light of the death of the world's leading religious figure, for using the word "acolyte" here. And since it is now obvious that, A, tax cuts in time of deficits is the most idiotic economic idea of all, and B, that Reagan has Alzheimer's at least as far back as 1984 -- "We begin bombing in five minutes" -- and C, the Pope's stance and the Soviets' own crumbling infrastructure would have doomed them anyway, let us now admit the truth: Ronald Reagan was not a great President. He just played one on TV. It is, however, now safe to say that Bush is worse that Reagan, and worse than his own father. Only Nixon and the two nincompoops who let the Civil War happen, Frank Pierce and Jem Buchanan, remain lower. But I have faith in Bush -- only in this.

Michael Pacholek - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment

Spaff: You, the next President? Promise national health service, or I can promise you no chance at the New Jersey delegation at the Convention. YWN: As usual, you get it wrong. It is not the departed Pope that is drawing Spaff's satire, and the man was hardly overrated. And I'm a Protestant! (Though a Polish one.) Know1, if I may add to your joke: If Bill Clinton, Al Gore or John Kerry walked on water, the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy would say, "That liberal tax-hiking appeaser can't swim!"

Your Worst Nightmare - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment

Well, I was probably exaggerating, but it is uncomfortably closely linked to the pope's death. When I said the pope was overrated, I didn't mean that he is shown on the news everyday. My bad, poor choice of words. I meant that people tend to treat him with a little TOO much respect, you know what I mean? It is almost as if people equate him to Christ.

Your Worst Nightmare - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment

By the way, I recall "debating" with you several months ago, so please disregard anything I have said to you last year. After looking over most of my arguments, they all looked immature and silly. I have learned to be less biased, and I would register Independent when I turn 18 if I could still vote in the primaries.

Phil Alexander - April 10, 2005 - Report this comment

Damn you, Spaff- I come back from holiday with a parody to this song, with a "Make me pope" tagline *and* a "Pope John Paul George Ringo" only to find some usurper's got there first. Must say that this is a load wackier than mine, and funnier, too (though I did manage to squeeze in a Da Vinci Code/Angels and Demons reference or two). Ah well, back to the drawing board...

Spaff.com - May 02, 2005 - Report this comment

Belated thanx and benedictions, everyone. Y'all have left so many excellent comments on this that it would take me forever to reply to you individually. But rest assured that Jesus and I love you all.

Oh, and Philbo - I was so positive that somebody else was going to come up with this idea that I called pre-emptive dibs on it:
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,117.410.html
I'm a bit disappointed, though, that YOU were the one I pre-empted; I would have loved to read your take on this. The Da Vinci Code stuff woulda been a great touch.

Red Ant - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment

( SOTM ) Already voted/commented.

Dumb Ass Kid - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) 555, but would've happily gave you 20,20,20

2nz - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment

I have no good excuse for not commenting sooner. Great subs, great form, you rule, blah blah blah. What really enhanced this for me was all the Roma-specific references and jokes later on in the song. My personal favorite was:

"Take me down to the Vatican City
Where the art is great but the crowds are [censer'd]"

I still remember trying to see John Paul at the Vatican and losing at least five ribs to these old Italian women who elbow though everybody to get closer. I've never seen women over 65 so motivated in my life.

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment

You obviously haven' t met Spaff's groupies...

Agrimorfee - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) This will probably beat my Pope song, damn you! :)

Charlie Decker - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) Superb.

Scathe - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) You have a unique way of presenting things

Rick C - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) already voted, commented

Spaff.com - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment

Thanx again, all!
Aggro: Huh-huh. You said "beat my pope." Uh-huh-huh.
Ralphing Luke: Once you go 65, you never go back.
Looney 2nz: I was hoping that you (and possibly others) would pick up on some of the geographical references. Did I ever tell you I saw JP2 perform Christmas Eve midnight mass at St Peter's? It's fun to brag about, but it would have meant more if I understood Latin. Or Catholicism.

Dee Range - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment

SOTM...another gem from the world's greatest parodist(yawn). What's scary is that you keep getting better, if that's possible.High 5's

Peter Andersson - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment

So you like to brag about being at Christmas Eve midnight mass at St Peter's, and that it would have meant more if you understood Latin. Or Catholicism...
I guess that makes you a proud member of the mass of Catholics Anonymous! :-)

Jeff Reuben - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment

SOTM...didn't vote yet, haven't commented. Excellent job!

Guy - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) See above comments.

Arwen - May 15, 2005 - Report this comment

SOTM--the most offensive thing about the whole thing is that I think I've read this 8 times, and I know that I've voted...and yet, in a sea of controversial comments and arguing galore...there isn't one damned comment from me. Sheesh. I'm a little bit ashamed.

Brilliant, as ALWAYS, your grace. Or...whatever.

Melhi - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) I don't know, Spaff, this was just so much better when the previous pope's body was still warm. ;) Just kidding, it's still fabulous!

Rex - May 21, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) Comment above.

Johnny D - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) See above!

Spaff.com - May 25, 2005 - Report this comment

Dee Nial: If you keep making comments like that, everyone will figure out that I'm paying you. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Peter CHYD: Cathoholics?

Jeffaroo: I haven't thanked you yet. Thank you. Now I have.

Sister Evenstar: You owe me a dozen Hail Spaffs. And kiss the ring.

Melhigh: "The one thing they say about Catholics is they'll take you as soon as you're warm." Name that tune.

GD'R & Wrecks & Johnny BD: See thank yous above. Oh, and Guy, here's a papal parody idea with your name all over it: http://popehatchip.com/

Stuart McArthur - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) I actually LimeWired this after my initial comment, and appreciated it better - I love the way you make labouring a rhyme funny BECAUSE of the labouring - eg. "alriddy" - ie. inviting the reader in on the joke - it's those little touches I love

Claude Prez - May 29, 2005 - Report this comment

I find this parody highly inappropriate and offensive to my sensimibilities. You could have at least waited until the man was eaten by worms to post this. You wouldn't write such a disrespectful song about Eddie Albert, would you? For shame.

Kristof Robertson - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) I was hoping all the papal parodies this month would cancel each other out...but, mi amigo, yours stands out like a...stand-outy type thingy...um....yeah....;-)

Tim Mayfield - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) Excellent.

2nz - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment

This parody still makes me wanna go back to Rome, but so do most of my daily activities. Still an excellently clever idea combined with your signature writing skillz and Roma references. I can't help but vote for you, and for a 'Stronger Vatican'.

MysteryGoat - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment

(SOTM) I have to say there are far too many pope parodies out right now, however this is the best one! And I can really appreciate the use of "Paradise City" for your base. If only more pope parodies were based from rock music.

APRIL 2005 SONG OF THE MONTH SILVER MEDAL - June 04, 2005 - Report this comment

http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=6075;image

Spaff.com - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment

s2art: Labored rhymes? I have no idea what you're talking about, McBarfer.

C4P: It depends - is he Catholic?

Overlord Kristof: You promised you wouldn't talk publicly about my outy.

Tim Lastmonthfield: Spoken like Mr. Burns. Thanx.

Signor 2nz: Andiamo, alora!

Magical Mystery Goat: I may just have another one around here somewhere.

Johnny BD: Thanks for the medal. I wear it nonstop.

Stuart McArthur - June 11, 2005 - Report this comment

yes, laboured rhymes can
aggravate
but you, 'bout yours, should
brag Spaff mate

Spaff.com - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment

s2art: You art an author!

SisterGirl - November 10, 2005 - Report this comment

Where I can't have sex -- but I don't alriddy.... Genius. F---ing Funny! I laughed out loud the entire song.

Pope Urban II - November 11, 2005 - Report this comment

Great parody!!!!! Gilbert and Sullivan, widely considered to be the most clever rhymers off all time, couldn't rhyme 'cape will' and 'papal' and still maintain the meter and flow of the line. Great work!

Spaff.com - February 21, 2006 - Report this comment

Belated thanx, SisterGirl & P.U.2.

Agrimorfee - March 08, 2006 - Report this comment

(SOTY 05) Dropped a few points for stealing the fire from my "Meet Pope Benedict XVI". ;P

Red Ant - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment

(SOTY 2005) See above and a few final points of praise for this; great timeliness and also beyond outstanding job on the last minute and a half of the song. Having parodied this OS myself (and IIRC searching over 30 websites for complete lyrics) I know what a PITA it is to get that last part close; you got it perfect. I'm guessing too that you probably don't want to hear "Paradise City" again any time soon.

John Jenkins - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment

A lot of excellent lines, most notably the "corn" and the "pain in the mass" lines.

Spaff.com - July 15, 2006 - Report this comment

Thanx, Johnkins. I almost didn't include the corn line because it's so, um, corny.

Jack Wilson - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment

I dont get why this was hated,I kidna do but still, this is great!

Jack Wilson - November 27, 2006 - Report this comment

And before yous ee this, I hhope it doesnt sound liekm I hated it, all I said was I kinda know why some people hate it, but I LOVE it.

Spaff.com - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment

Thank you, Jack.

Jack Wilson - December 15, 2006 - Report this comment

You're welcome,Spaff!

Bob Hyner - March 21, 2011 - Report this comment

I LOVE THIS!!! IT"S SO WEIRD!!!

Spaff.com - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment

That's what she said.

Phil Alexander - March 12, 2013 - Report this comment

So it becomes topical again... hey, Spaff: you going to get RL to record this in the next few days?

HERE'S THE RECORDING - March 15, 2013 - Report this comment

http://www.spaff.com/poesy/vatican_city.html

Good to hear from you, Phil!

Spaff

Lifeliver - March 15, 2013 - Report this comment

Followed your tracks here, Phil, Spaff. Wow, just wow! No wonder some veteran AIRheads lament the 'good old days'. Don't see many this good. Just when you think how many brilliant subs can you generate in one parody, here comes another. Wow, just wow. It's not often I'm at a loss for words. I added a 43rd set of fives.

Jack Wilson - April 10, 2013 - Report this comment

The recording is AWESOME!

Phil Alexander - April 10, 2013 - Report this comment

What, you did even more lyrics for the recording as if this wasn't enough? :D

So won't you take me down to the Amiright city
Where the Spaff is Pope and the hymns are witty
Oh, won't you please make him pope...

:D

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