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Song Parodies -> "I Got Your Crabs"

Original Song Title:

"I Want Your Sex"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

George Michael

Parody Song Title:

"I Got Your Crabs"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

Old song written in the 80s I never submitted
There're excuses to say, most of them are now gone
I thought you were clean, I found I was wrong
There're things I can hide, but this is one that will show
I never thought I would catch it, but I did and that's just the way it goes

You swore you'd been tested but you must have lied
I wanted a condom you said, "Let it slide!"
You should have found out before we became friends
And a man's got his sex life and here's where mine ends

I got your crabs
I got V-D
I got your crabs
I got your...crabs

Well it really blew my mind when my parts began to glow
Be more careful this time, now I think this really blows
The experts say they'll try, oh I hope they find a cure
Well I knew I was gonna regret it, when the doctor said I couldn't have no sex no more

You swore you'd been tested but you must have lied
I wanted a condom, you said, "Let it slide"
I need some advice now, it's gaining control
I'd best see a doctor to fix up my pole

I got your crabs
I got V-D
I got your crabs
I got your...crabs

It's chemical
It's catchable
It's spreadable
It's scratchable
It's on my pole
And that's not all

Sex is something we should do but
Crabs is the reason I won't screw
Crabs is bothersome, crabs ain't good
Not everybody gets it, but anybody could
Crabs is contagious, crabs ain't fun
Crabs will eat you up one by one

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   14
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User Comments

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Arwen - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
"Well it really blew my mind when my parts began to glow"

LOL...lots of fun, Jeff! Keep submitting stuff...I miss you!!
Yet Another Dutchman - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Good, good! 5s
Red Ant - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL, and I can totally see George Michael singing this.
stuart mcarthur - December 05, 2005 - Report this comment
especially loved the last verse, Jeff - sorry about your "pole" though - 555
Larry Hensley - December 06, 2005 - Report this comment
kinda funny
Kristof Robertson - December 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Eeek! LOL, but...eeeek! TMI, Jeff. ;-) 555
Spaff.com - December 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Some advice if you record this one: Don't let the neighbor kids accidentally hear it. Their parents will want to know why their children are suddenly asking why in the world someone would give someone else CRABS. Trust me on this.
Angie - December 28, 2005 - Report this comment
hahahahahahha... classic... it would be great to see George Michael sing this =)
Silver Power - January 08, 2006 - Report this comment
[SOTM] DKTOS, but it was funny.
bobpiecheese - January 08, 2006 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Very funny. Let's just hope this isn't 'based on a true story'...
Agrimorfee - January 09, 2006 - Report this comment
[SOTM] takes me back to a time where a sexual disease did not necessarily mean possible death. Ah, before the '80s, an innocent time. :)
Adagio - January 10, 2006 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Funny one.
Spaff.com - January 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Warning to anyone who goes out to download the OS: "I Want Your Sex" has THREE parts, and combined they're like 15 minutes long. George must have thought he was Pink Floyd or something. It's Part I you're looking for, even though it's Part II that he put on his Best Of CD. Don't ask me; I just work here.

Funny stuff, Jeffaroo. Fave line: "A man's got his sex life and here's where mine ends." I also like the catchable/scratchable list. Oh, and here's more helpful advice to go along with my previous comment: condoms don't prevent the spread of crabs. (You're welcome.)
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - January 23, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - I'll second Spaff on that, but follow the original and you'll know when you've had enough of crabs. BTW, there's no guarantee that it will still be there when you (whoever you are) read this, but I found the original song here (you might have to remove a hyphen):

mp3.maxalbums.com/mp3/10614/George%20Michael/I%20Want%20Y­our%20Sex/
Rick C - January 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM)"It's chemical It's catchable It's spreadable It's scratchable It's on my pole And that's not all" I loved singing this part to the OS. Great stuff! 555
Tim Mayfield - January 24, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - I wished I could say I thought this was going to be a ransom note about a pet crustacean, but I've been on this site long enought to know better. Some great lines though.
Stuart McArthur - January 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) already commented, but I still love the wholeof "It's chemical It's catchable It's spreadable It's scratchable It's on my pole And that's not all" - and glowing parts would come in handy during those early morning bathroom visits, Jeff, so it's not all bad ;-)
Red Ant - January 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Yep, still can hear George singing this one. This reminds me of a Slick Rick song, which is a good thing. You wrote this in the 80s? Wow. I liked the "Not everybody gets it, but anybody could" line the best.
Jack Wilson - January 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) So that's where Andrew Ridgely's been! giving Goegre Micheal crabs! Just kiddin 555!
Kristof Robertson - January 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This one still makes me itch, Jeff...eeeek!
wannabemustangjockey - January 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Sick in more ways than one. Try not to be so rash in the future -- that's why it's called protection. Good...job.
Phil Alexander - January 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Thought I'd commented on this one already: reminds me of a couple of songs, namely Python's "Medical Love Song" and my own "Venereal Crabsody"... beautifully put together, if somewhat sick ;-)
Johnny D - January 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hey, Jeff --- if they got them in an S & M / B & D "dungeon" setting...does that mean...that they are...dungeness crabs? ;-)
Larry Hensley - January 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Josh 2 - January 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) *horrified look*, um ...........er...............ok, 5s
Claude Prez - January 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Mmmmmm.....crabs. Just went to Pappadeaux the other day; excellent soft shell crab. Good song too; well done.
Chris Frederick - February 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very funny. Scary, too.

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