Hi there people I'm Anakin
I know now that Luke's my next of kin
His force was strong, but mine was stronger
I fought all his masters and they are no longer
Once I was at the Jedi school
I dressed up sharp and I acted cool
I found a chancellor there, he used to help with my capers
And when I know all the tricks the baddies vanished in vapors

Oh God I was the Imperial dream
I never aimed for unextreme
I was so handsome as Obi-Wan's bitch
Before I got a new hand and 'came all stitched
(Got a new, got a new, got a new, got a new hand)

But that insurrection
Did wonders for my recollection
I tell you people, it wasn't nitty
When I fought my son in the cloudy city
I made a little speech then
I tried to make him change then
I had his soul on a leach, but he fell to quick
He made it out alive, but thought I was a dick

Oh God I was the Imperial dream
But then I lost my self esteem
I was a handsome Pad-oh-Wan bitch
Then was a man or machine, still don't know which
(I wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder)

So I reached out an' Palpy was nought but hate
I jingled my sword, but was soon to be late
Got this job guardin' clumsy ol' clone prats
And nothing but Ewoks to throw rockets or stones at
Eventually Yoda's and Ben's
Teachin' drifted along 'to my brain and then
I couldn't run any longer on Imperial Power
But made a last toss and Pappy Palpy sour

Oh God I was the imperial dream
With a toddler who's a butthead, it makes me scream
I could do anything, but passed to spook
I stayed alive, dead, thinking "Up yours Luke"

Oh God, oh God, I was fantastic!
Thanks to Obi, mostly circuits and plastic
And my name was Anakin
I'm astral now and still around
And my name was Anakin
Astral now, I'm still around
And my name was Anakin
Astral now, I'm still around