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Song Parodies -> "Always Lick on the White Side of the Stamp"

Original Song Title:

"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life"

Original Performer:

Eric Idle (Monty Python's Life of Brian)

Parody Song Title:

"Always Lick on the White Side of the Stamp"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Monty Python goes postal?
Some things in life you lick
When you want to make them stick
Other things have self-adhesive glue
When you're sending an epistle
Don't grumble, use some spittle
And here's a little tip, from me to you:

And.....
Always lick on the right side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
Always stick on the white side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]

If something isn't sticking
Check which side that you are licking
And that's the side without the picture on
And if it hasn't stuck
And it didn't taste all yuck
I guess the side you spittled on was wrong

So...
Always lick on the light side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
Always lick on the bright side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
For reduced aggravation
Ensure perfect orientation
A stamp stuck on the wrong way up falls off
Another golden rule
Just lick a bit, don't drool
You do not want to lick the glue right off

And...
Always lick on the gummy side of the flap
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
Even though the envelope tastes of crap
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
A little bit of spit
Is just the job for it
You could always use some sellotape, it's true.
So smile and raise a toast
As you drop it in the post
Just remember to write who you're sending to

And...
Always lick on the right side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
Always stick on the white side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
(repeat to fade)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 2
 1
 
 4   1
 2
 3
 
 5   15
 14
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - June 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent! This is my favorite Monty Python song...tied with "Sir Robin Ran Away!" from the Holy Grail. I love the sound effects too...this would be great as a wav.
Phil - June 05, 2003 - Report this comment
...a wav, eh? that either means learning it on the guitar, or finding a karaoke version. Watch this space ;-)
Claude Prez - June 05, 2003 - Report this comment
This is the best song about stamp-licking I've ever seen. Seriously, great job Phil.
Two-Faced Goblin - June 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent! Very Pythonesque!
Billy Florio - June 05, 2003 - Report this comment
This song is one of the reasons Phil is one of my favorite parody authors here...great job Phil
Phil Alexander - June 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Too kind... still, I'm glad you guys have enjoyed reading this one as much as I enjoyed writing it :-) I had my reservations before I started, as it's one of my favourite songs, and I thought the parody was going to need to be a good one to live up to the original - but it turned out to be a really easy job, almost writing itself. I had a quick try on the guitar last night: can't get the twiddles right, but the song sounds OK...
AMIRIGHT AWARDS NOMINEE - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
"Second Annual Billy Florio Award"
Michael Pacholek - December 04, 2003 - Report this comment
At my new job, I apparently replaced someone who, went US postal rates went up from 36 to 37 cents, was told to put one-cent stamps on the letters that had the 36ers, and licked the self-adhesive wonders and put them ON TOP of the 36ers! I gotta write one about her. Until I do, this one will do very nicely.
Guy - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-A) This one takes a licking and just keeps on ticking. Nice one Phil.
Melhi - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Could've sworn I had commented on this one, before! Loved it then, love it now. Great job, Phil.
Johnny D - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) A sticky wicket!
Agrimorfee - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Cute!
Adagio - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS, but it's a verry funny read, so ...5's
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
abc - and pythonesque in subject matter too, Phil - I loved this
Phil Alexander - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Adagio - you really DKTOS? Go and find "Life of Brian" on video: you'll probably hate it, but you won't have to wait too long before this song comes on...
Agrimorfee - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil said, "you'll probably hate it, but you won't have to wait too long before this song comes on..." You will have to wait about 1 hour and 35 minutes. :0
Phil Alexander - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, Ag... did you have to give the game away?
Charlie Decker - March 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Funniest one I've read in a while...fantastic! 555, and then some!
MysteryGoat - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS

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