Song Parodies -> Everyday I Try To Cook

Original Song Title:	"Everyday I Write the Book"
Original Performer:	Elvis Costello

Parody Song Title:	"Everyday I Try To Cook"
Parody Written by:	Rick Duncan

According to my Billboard hitbook, this is Elvis Costello's biggest hit. Amazing to me, because he's done wonderful things that never made a dent. Just shows you what the hitbook means.

Don't tell me I don't know what food is
Now I'm old enough to know batter
I'm baking but you don't get fatter
Now my catfish has gone into the dog dish
I'm a gal who is wishin' I was great in the kitchen

And you're giving me that hungry look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook

Lesson one; boil water on the stove
Lesson two; don't use paper it leaks through
My husband really yells when I feed him the eggshells
So I buy a premade cake mix
And skip steps four, five, and six

And you're giving me that starving look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook

The way you heave
The way you leave and go to eat out
And gag, and bring lunch home in a bag
All your condiments and beer nuts from the bar
Are hidden there in the trunk of your car

And you're giving me that frightened look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook

I know I don't know the difference
Between a grinder and a grater
Or what things need to go in the refrigerator
When I make a decent dish, you'll be so surprised honey
I'll open up a restaurant, and we'll be in the money

And you're giving me that crazy look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook

aaaahhh

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Meriadoc - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment

Liked how you worked in the four five and six!

Paul Robinson - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment

Rick D - That IS amazing, because I know SOME Elvis Costello songs but don't even know this song at all!

David Chrenko - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment

Okay, Rick - YOU get the Elvis Costello catalog! "High Fryin' Fyves"

Johnny D - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment

Elvis lives! Efvis fives!

Billy Florio - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment

GREAT JOB! but I think you have more problems if you have a husband, Rick, married to Mari lol

Jack Wilson - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment

Great job! You have a Billboard hit book? Is it big and says Top 40 Hits 1955-2000, if so, I have that too!

Agrimorfee - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment

This parody cooks! Goddamn, I'm laughing with tears rolling down my eyes. Neat how you wrote the perspective from a different gender. Good job as always, Rick! 555

Rick D - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment

Jack, yes, that's the book. Agri, at least a third of my songs and parodies are written from the other gender. I have a wife that can sing, and I've always approached songwriting from the perspective of a novelist, where you have to write from character. I think it's limiting to always "write about myself" although that's what John Lennon claimed he did.

alvin rhodes - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment

i've given up trying to cook for good....funny one....5s

Stuart Kidd - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment

I remember the original because of the filmclip; Prince Charles is trying desperately to impress Princess Diana, even diving through a ring of fire at one point, only to be greeted with a frosty stare. Scary isn't it, given the song was released not long after the wedding. I too am surprised it was Decklin Mc Manus' biggest success though. Gave the parody 5's; funny and faultless.

Jeff Reuben - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment

Excellent

DJ Avadoria - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment

This is priceless. I laughed so hard because not only do i love the original song, I'm also "a gal who's wishin I was great in the kitchen"!

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment

It's great you got this golden oldie out of your bag, it was a great read with great rhyming.

Agrimorfee - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment

(ABC05) Read my rave above

Charlie Decker - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment

(ABC) Great choice on the OS...well done!

MysteryGoat - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment

(ABC) DKTOS; I know people like that.

Guy - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment

(ABC-E) DKTOS but now I'm hungry for some strange reason.

Johnny D - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment

(ABC) See above

Scathe - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment

(ABC-E) Never cook for me. :-)

Stuart McArthur - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment

(ABC) The other Elvis had no problem with recipes

1: grab food (any kind)
2: proceed to deep-fry
3: proceed to eat

2nz - May 15, 2005 - Report this comment

I don't know the original song but I can still appreciate a lot of the jokes in this. Fave lines despite my DKTOS: "Now I'm old enough to know batter" and "...grater Or what things need to go in the refrigerator".

Jeff Reuben - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment

ABC-Have to appreciate the puns as well =)

Phil Alexander - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment

Didn't I comment on this one before? I certainly remember reading it... anyway, I can relate to this, except that every day I try *not* to cook

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Song Parodies -> Everyday I Try To Cook

"Everyday I Write the Book"

Elvis Costello

"Everyday I Try To Cook"

Rick Duncan

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