Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Everyday I Try To Cook"

Original Song Title:

"Everyday I Write the Book"

Original Performer:

Elvis Costello

Parody Song Title:

"Everyday I Try To Cook"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

According to my Billboard hitbook, this is Elvis Costello's biggest hit. Amazing to me, because he's done wonderful things that never made a dent. Just shows you what the hitbook means.
Don't tell me I don't know what food is
Now I'm old enough to know batter
I'm baking but you don't get fatter
Now my catfish has gone into the dog dish
I'm a gal who is wishin' I was great in the kitchen

And you're giving me that hungry look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook

Lesson one; boil water on the stove
Lesson two; don't use paper it leaks through
My husband really yells when I feed him the eggshells
So I buy a premade cake mix
And skip steps four, five, and six

And you're giving me that starving look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook

The way you heave
The way you leave and go to eat out
And gag, and bring lunch home in a bag
All your condiments and beer nuts from the bar
Are hidden there in the trunk of your car

And you're giving me that frightened look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook

I know I don't know the difference
Between a grinder and a grater
Or what things need to go in the refrigerator
When I make a decent dish, you'll be so surprised honey
I'll open up a restaurant, and we'll be in the money

And you're giving me that crazy look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook
Everyday, everyday, everyday I try to cook
aaaahhh

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   4
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Meriadoc - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Liked how you worked in the four five and six!
Paul Robinson - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick D - That IS amazing, because I know SOME Elvis Costello songs but don't even know this song at all!
David Chrenko - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay, Rick - YOU get the Elvis Costello catalog! "High Fryin' Fyves"
Johnny D - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Elvis lives! Efvis fives!
Billy Florio - March 30, 2004 - Report this comment
GREAT JOB! but I think you have more problems if you have a husband, Rick, married to Mari lol
Jack Wilson - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job! You have a Billboard hit book? Is it big and says Top 40 Hits 1955-2000, if so, I have that too!
Agrimorfee - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
This parody cooks! Goddamn, I'm laughing with tears rolling down my eyes. Neat how you wrote the perspective from a different gender. Good job as always, Rick! 555
Rick D - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Jack, yes, that's the book. Agri, at least a third of my songs and parodies are written from the other gender. I have a wife that can sing, and I've always approached songwriting from the perspective of a novelist, where you have to write from character. I think it's limiting to always "write about myself" although that's what John Lennon claimed he did.
alvin rhodes - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
i've given up trying to cook for good....funny one....5s
Stuart Kidd - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember the original because of the filmclip; Prince Charles is trying desperately to impress Princess Diana, even diving through a ring of fire at one point, only to be greeted with a frosty stare. Scary isn't it, given the song was released not long after the wedding. I too am surprised it was Decklin Mc Manus' biggest success though. Gave the parody 5's; funny and faultless.
Jeff Reuben - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent
DJ Avadoria - March 31, 2004 - Report this comment
This is priceless. I laughed so hard because not only do i love the original song, I'm also "a gal who's wishin I was great in the kitchen"!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
It's great you got this golden oldie out of your bag, it was a great read with great rhyming.
Agrimorfee - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Read my rave above
Charlie Decker - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great choice on the OS...well done!
MysteryGoat - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS; I know people like that.
Guy - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-E) DKTOS but now I'm hungry for some strange reason.
Johnny D - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above
Scathe - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-E) Never cook for me. :-)
Stuart McArthur - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) The other Elvis had no problem with recipes

1: grab food (any kind)
2: proceed to deep-fry
3: proceed to eat
2nz - May 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I don't know the original song but I can still appreciate a lot of the jokes in this. Fave lines despite my DKTOS: "Now I'm old enough to know batter" and "...grater Or what things need to go in the refrigerator".
Jeff Reuben - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC-Have to appreciate the puns as well =)
Phil Alexander - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Didn't I comment on this one before? I certainly remember reading it... anyway, I can relate to this, except that every day I try *not* to cook

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/elviscostello3.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 709