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Song Parodies -> "I Guess That's Why They Call It The News"

Original Song Title:

"I Guess That's Why They Call Them The Blues"

Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"I Guess That's Why They Call It The News"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

For a Youtube video of Elton John's "I Guess That's Why They Call Then The Blues" Click HERE

News business today,
Hey, Look© didn't last like forever.
Sixteen© ain't for me,
With their godessly way,
Bad things just only get badder.

Slow newsday today,
Bust out the scenes set aside.
Those bits that weren't strong,
Before, News not be run
Didn't place on the charts,
Now they're eyed.

I can't guess quite why
They call it the News.
Time© named a man,
They thought prime, catch a clue.
Missing go children,
Newsweek©, Discover©
Bellowing blunders, thunder the cover.
I can't guess quite why
They call it the News.

Some stars are quite spaced,
Plastered their face booked and scanned.
There within seconds,
Of a detonation,
As ever they get, News first hand.

Wait for a girl,
Cries in the night in her cell.
This model heir, do primp above you,
Acts like she got life in jail.

So I ask now why
They call this the News?
Crime on their hands,
But no time's spent or due.
Lackin' the thrillin',
Runnin' for cover,
Mens' room scene blunder, under stall lover?
He confessed that's why,
He's scrawled in the News.

[interlude]

Senator girl,
Try all her might as she yelps.
Those debonaires, they simply love you,
As gun shy doves like themselves.

Must I guess now why,
They call this some News?
Time© on the stands,
Not my dime spent to view.
Terrorist villians,
Roll in and plunder,
Blowing up Hummers®, runners take cover.
Take a rest, don't try
And call this the News.

It's old and it's illin'
Way over covered.
In their quest they try,
To call it new News.

Logging what's chillin',
Landing the cover.
As the press will try,
To haul in some News.

I can guess not why,
They call it the News.

I can guess not why,
They call it the News.


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
thought provoking piece...i dug it
John Barry - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
As a longtime reader of Newsweek, I can remember when it was a news journal, not a vapid lifestyle catalog. Same thing with Time. . . . You nailed it.
unKnownVoter - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
"under-Stall-Lover " !!
Peregrin - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Good work Guy - I remember the news!
Meriadoc - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Baba Wawa is pretty much responsible for the transformation of News to Fluff.... good parody.
Andrew D. Lacroix - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Can't give you enough credit. Here's 555 subscriptions to different magazines and newspapers on sale now. Great parody!
Guy - January 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Readers - I've been a bit too busy to do much commenting and reading of parodies in the last week. I will do my best to catch up

Alvin - Thanks I always like to provoke,,, thought that is.

John - Precisly the point of this parody. Thanks for the positive feedback.

UKV - I just call 'em as I see 'em. Thanks.

M&P - P. Yeah now it's called something like "Eye nitwit news" M. - It seems that I did a parody once on Baba Wawa. I loved the way Gilda Radnor did her on SNL. Such a loss, Gilda, she was a great comedinene..

Andrew - Thanks for the subscripts. - I have a puppy that needs house broke. They will come in handy.
Johnny D - January 16, 2008 - Report this comment
You are indeed our resident Syllable-Matching Master, Guy! I love how your parodies sing themselves.

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