News business today,
Hey, Look© didn't last like forever.
Sixteen© ain't for me,
With their godessly way,
Bad things just only get badder.

Slow newsday today,
Bust out the scenes set aside.
Those bits that weren't strong,
Before, News not be run
Didn't place on the charts,
Now they're eyed.

I can't guess quite why
They call it the News.
Time© named a man,
They thought prime, catch a clue.
Missing go children,
Newsweek©, Discover©
Bellowing blunders, thunder the cover.
I can't guess quite why
They call it the News.

Some stars are quite spaced,
Plastered their face booked and scanned.
There within seconds,
Of a detonation,
As ever they get, News first hand.

Wait for a girl,
Cries in the night in her cell.
This model heir, do primp above you,
Acts like she got life in jail.

So I ask now why
They call this the News?
Crime on their hands,
But no time's spent or due.
Lackin' the thrillin',
Runnin' for cover,
Mens' room scene blunder, under stall lover?
He confessed that's why,
He's scrawled in the News.

[interlude]

Senator girl,
Try all her might as she yelps.
Those debonaires, they simply love you,
As gun shy doves like themselves.

Must I guess now why,
They call this some News?
Time© on the stands,
Not my dime spent to view.
Terrorist villians,
Roll in and plunder,
Blowing up Hummers®, runners take cover.
Take a rest, don't try
And call this the News.

It's old and it's illin'
Way over covered.
In their quest they try,
To call it new News.

Logging what's chillin',
Landing the cover.
As the press will try,
To haul in some News.

I can guess not why,
They call it the News.

I can guess not why,
They call it the News.