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Song Parodies -> "Nine Foot Five"

Original Song Title:

"9 to 5"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Dolly Parton

Parody Song Title:

"Nine Foot Five"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

I love the way any obstacle, crime, nationality, military and family obligations can be circumvented and overcome when someone has the potential to be a star athlete.
Jump onto a plane and I scour the whole planet
Finding talent takes one to scan it
The N.B.A. needs stars to give it life
Went in the jungle, where natives were huntin'
There by a tree I looked up and saw somethin'
And right there he was, a man of nine foot five

This dude's nine foot five--Gotta get this guy a contract
My head's at his thigh, I'm the agent you should contact
Sport of basketball, height will make you quite a cash pot
It's a gimmick but the fans will pay a whole lot

Nine foot five, no language were we saying
Held up U.S. cash, just to show what we'd be paying
Called the embassy, got him passports for his short wife
Got on the plane, and headed for the sport life

We got hoop dreams and some boards to shatter
This is one dude that won't need a ladder
My guy's head and shoulders above the fray
Find him a team and a well paid staff
Maybe hire folks that lost their giraffe
We'll put him out there, maybe find out if he can play

This dude's nine foot five--Gotta get this guy a contract
My head's at his thigh, I'm the agent you should contact
Sport of basketball, height will make you quite a cash pot
It's a gimmick but the fans will pay a whole lot

Nine foot five, if you got it you can flaunt it
There's a better life, and yes, size does matter don't it?
It's a rich man's game, if you want go all season
It's because they pay these dudes beyond all reason

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
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User Comments

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Leah Lockhart - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow... I think I sat next to this guy on a plane once! Good job.
David Chrenko - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Gotta give you HIGH FIVES for this one, Rick.
Johnny D - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
How tall is Yao Ming? I know he's not 9'5" but he's one tall dude. 5's
Adagio - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Really good job, Rick. 5's
Guy - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
I looked up the word tall in the dictionary just now. This guy's picture was there. Well done Rick. 5s.
Rick D - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Yao is a mere 7'5.
Paul Robinson - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick D - A tall task but you were up to it. Yao, 7'5! YOW!
alvin rhodes - March 07, 2004 - Report this comment
LMAO....too funny....
Leo Jay - May 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Great idea, well executed.
Reader - March 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job, well thought out. Might be about how Manute Bol came up years ago, he was 7'7".(There's another parody from a Sports Illustrated cover - instead of "inka dinka do," from some old celeb from decades ago, the caption was, "See the Dinka Dunker Do." :-)

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