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Song Parodies -> "95"

Original Song Title:

"9 to 5"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Dolly Parton

Parody Song Title:

"95"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Read the news:
The markets've been crashin
Looks like money's goin' out of fashion
Workin' out where this leaves the rest of my life

The government says
And this ain't surprising
Retirement age
Is gonna keep on rising
Guess I'm gonna have to work till I'm 95

Work till 95
Until I can get a pension
[On] which I can survive
Though that isn't my intention
I might as well have played
On the national lottery
It's enough to drive you
Completely ****ing potty

95
Is the new age for retiring
Though you might think I
Would by then have some loose wiring
Want to cash them in
But they're worthless, my endowments
At 94 will I still get Job Seekers' Allowance?


Maybe I should change
My life's ambition
Get elected
Become a politician
A generous wage and a pension from the state

Tellin' you now
Don't you never, ever
Believe their shit:
We're all in this together
Someday tide's gonna turn
An' they'll all get blown away

Work till 95
But it ain't no real solution
Seein' those bastards die
In a bloody revolution
If you use your mind
Yeah, the ones who'd end up winners
Are the ones with power, not us
Absolute beginners

95
Thinkin' once we have dismissed 'em
How can we arrive
At a better-working system
Not some rich man's game
With career politicians
Want to rule your lives
And beat you into submission

Work till 95
Now I've only one requirement
Not just to survive
But to enjoy my retirement
You could lose your mind
Bein' a party apparatchik
It's enough to make you a
Guerilla geriatric

95
Workin' life is getting longer
Those in power connive
But the old are getting stronger
It's a frigging shame
A nonagenarian worker
It's enough to make you
A doddery beserker

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 6
 6
 
 2   1
 2
 2
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Leough - October 16, 2014 - Report this comment
Great title switch and concept! When my doctor was trying to convince me to get a colonoscopy, his argument was that it could save my life. I felt like responding that it could prolong my misery.
Timmy1000 - October 16, 2014 - Report this comment
Very timely, especially with what is going on in the stock market and with the economy.
Phil Alexander - October 17, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks :)

Leough - I guess there's a "Knockin at your Backdoor" parody waiting to be written there..

Timmy - has been apposite for quite a while now. I've rather made the assumption I'm not going to be retiring until 70+, providing there's something I can profitably be doing..
Peregrin - October 17, 2014 - Report this comment
Classic work from Philbo :) This one had me laughing all the way through. If only it wasn't likely to be all so true...
WarrenB - October 17, 2014 - Report this comment
A guerilla geriatric. Well that's something to read everyday! And the concept is really clever. Here are 5 spoons of Geritol to keep you going.
Phil Alexander - October 17, 2014 - Report this comment
:-)

Gave it its first performance last night - lots of laughs & some nice comments; a bit of a long tail, in that the chorus repeats get a bit boring (from my perspective, the comments from others were all positive).. though people started clapping along in the chorus & so did my music stand. Which made it quite hard to read.
Dave W. - October 17, 2014 - Report this comment
Hilariously brilliant
John Jenkins - October 17, 2014 - Report this comment
Very good, Phil, particularly the politician verse and the worker/beserker rhyme (but shouldn't it be "berserker"?). Wish I had been there last night. Maybe I can travel more after I'm 95 and retired.
TJC - October 17, 2014 - Report this comment
♩♫♩ Parton me boys, is this the wag who penned a loo-loo? ♩♫♩ (5's)

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