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Song Parodies -> "'Twas A Jest"

Original Song Title:

"Be Our Guest"

Original Performer:

Disney Songs

Parody Song Title:

"'Twas A Jest"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Haven't done a "Be Our Guest" parody in ages.. so when taking an Amiright Reunion Tour, it was only fitting.

When practical jokes and jokers go too far..
Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with silly grins
and cheerful titters that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to be seated, let us pull away the
chair you were about to sit on -
Only joking!


'Twas a jest! 'Twas a jest!
I'm surprised you hadn't guessed
When I said that you looked dead
Your face went red
You weren't impressed
When I called
You a bloke
Madam, just my little joke
Don't get upset
Don't get teary as
I wasn't being serious
Though your arse, it is vast
Nearly the whole width of France
It has its good points: North, South, East and West
You sit, the chair gets broken
Non! I'm only jokin'
'Twas a jest
Just a jest
'Twas a jest!

You're annoyed
And you're sore
Want to kick me out the door
It's bad grammar
Sayin' "yo mama"
But she must've been a whore
And up there
Everywhere
I point out a lack of hair
You're not laughing, I assume a
Failure in your sense of humour
Oh such fun! How we laughed!
As you tumbled on your arse

It was all in perfect taste
But you detest
You're looking way too bitter
Not one single titter:
'Twas a jest

Not the best
But you surely must attest:
'Twas a jest! 'Twas a jest! 'Twas a jest!

'Twas a jest! 'Twas a jest!
Making jokes about your chest
Let us see
Your surgery
Looks good to me when you're undressed
There's a nip! There's a tuck!
I laugh and flee (and also duck)
You're worried now: well, was it
Only me hid in your closet
Taking pix, video
Very soon the world will know
It's on reddit, twitter and pinterest
It's not the only boob
That's viral on youtube
That was a jest!
Such a jest!
'Twas a jest!

[Mrs Potts:]
That's a jest? That's a jest?
Holy shit, I'm unimpressed
A disgrace, in dreadful taste
And, frankly, you're sounding obsessed
We'll rise to the challenge
Of just how to get revenge
Working out what to do to you:
The most perfect way to screw you
Boil you up, piping hot
Drown you in a lake of snot
Strap you down naked upon a termite nest

We'll chortle on, and how..
What, you're not laughing now?
That was a jest!
'Twas a jest!
'Twas a jest!
'Twas a jest!
'Twas a jest! 'Twas a jest! 'Twas a jest!


'Tis far too good, is drowning
For a clown who won't stop clowning
Should be a crime
To simply mime without an end
Not just simple japes from noxious jesters
Don't you find it drives you round the bend?
With us he's been toying
And it's ever so annoying
Needling.. exorcise it, ere it goes downhill
Soon we're gonna lance that seeping pustule
Cue the painful howling
Now it's time for disembowelling

'Twas a jest! 'Twas a jest!
As you fail our acid test
Because my trick: using nitric
Causing cardiac arrest
Even more lovely fun
Firing at you with a gun
While the next hilarious action:
Is of course dental extraction
Tooth by tooth, one by one
'Til you shout, "Eggugh! I'g gug!"
But the blood that fills your mouth ends your protest
Yes that's your blood you're drinking
So are you still thinking
'Twas a jest?
'Twas a jest?
'Twas a jest!
It was a jest!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Timmy1000 - July 17, 2014 - Report this comment
Very well done - hope the horror movie directors are reading - lots of good torture to consider. Drowning in snot - that's a particularly disturbing one.
Jonathan - July 17, 2014 - Report this comment
this parody suits me Jest fine 5's
Leough - July 17, 2014 - Report this comment
555! Those jesters can be quite troublesome. Excellent job on one of the biggies!
John Barry - July 17, 2014 - Report this comment
A beau geste.
Meriadoc - July 17, 2014 - Report this comment
Made me think of Woland and Koroviev on the stage in Moscow.

Fave line:
Cue the painful howling
Now it's time for disembowelling
alvin - July 18, 2014 - Report this comment
you had me at "lake of snot"
TJC - July 18, 2014 - Report this comment
You've Lanced my remaining jesticle with laughter!
Peregrin - July 18, 2014 - Report this comment
Welcome to the tour, Phil :) By Goodness, this got weird quickly! I may have to change my opinion of Disney. Or perhaps Disney should change their direction!
Andy Primus - July 18, 2014 - Report this comment
Very well done and, like Alvin, the "lake of snot" line made me laugh

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