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Song Parodies -> "No HSM for Me"

Original Song Title:

"Industrial Disease"

Original Performer:

Dire Straits

Parody Song Title:

"No HSM for Me"

Parody Written by:

Edward Genereux

The Lyrics

HIgh School Musical is the worst musical of all time--in my opinion, the complete antithesis of Pink Floyd's The Wall. In fact, HSM is, as one amIRight writer put it, "a bizarro version of Grease." The worst part, however, is Disney's decision to put out a fourth installment. Okay, so Camp Rock was even worse, but still, HSM depicts high school life unrealistically. This is my 63rd parody.
Stanza I.
Raise flags on Disney Channel ‘cos we hate their shows and flicks,
Especially the singers—not one I’d ever pick.
But three films e’er exceed the rest in mediocrity;
I chose to blow the whistle on one, two and three.
In the boardroom Disney Channel executives smelled cash
And then even Miley Cyrus was left out of Disney’s hash.
Somewhere in the theatre, somebody soon did bleed;
God forbid! he just said: “No HSM for me!”

Stanza II.
The people there soon found themselves on Disney Channel’s cross
Of earth’s worst songs. Thus crucified, they all were at a loss.
They should put watchmen near every movie screen
So everyone will know to say: “No HSM for me.”
These little kids know naught ‘bout how to sing.
Some might try to do their best, but that’s not the thing.
Some want Ortega dead; some will chase the teens;
All will one day say for good: “No HSM for me.”

Stanza III.
Disney Channel is disgusting; everyone knows
From the age of thirteen to boycott Disney’s shows.
I will mourn for preteens targeted so much
By Disney Channel’s movies; High School Musical is such.
We know that even MTV is such a better channel,
But Disney Channel’s useless; let’s burn it with our candles!
Disney will freeze over as we bring a sword to bleed
This, the preteen scourge that’s resisted by: “No HSM for me.”

Stanza IV.
Then Ortega will declare: “Sweet Jesus Christ! what have I done?
I have made a crappy movie and it wasn’t just the one.
I don’t know how I got all of the profits from the screen,
But worst of all, the people screamed: ‘No HSM for me.’”
He’ll shoot the brains out of him because he’s so depressed
And then we’ll stand above him and eat Ortega’s flesh.
We won’t go view his casket; he just might bleed.
Send in another one who says: “No HSM for me.”

Stanza V.
I have heard, alas! of one more of those stupid flicks;
Disney’s gone too far now—it was so quick.
Two men hate this Efron; both of them must be right.
Get the protest singers to sing parodies all night.
We want to have a war to burn down Disney’s cheese;
We want to have a war to bring them to their knees;
We want to have a war to rescue those who do agree
That Godly people always say: “No HSM for me.”
Now let the Disney loyalists increase tenfold our gall.
Let them take us to martyrdom; incarcerate us all!
We will make our escape to the S.O.L.
Where good Crow and Servo will answer the bell.
All day we’ll be riffing on the trilogy
As Forrester and TV’s Frank force-feed one through three.
We’ll crash the S.O.L. in Burbank our work to complete;
Then the world will say: “No HSM for me.”
This took me about a year to create. I was making good progress, but then my normal press of business interrupted me for months.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
I think that when it comes to sharing your opinion of HSM...(singing) "We're All In This Together"!
Phil Nelson - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Yeah, HSM stinks but this parody was great! Can't believe they're gonna do a fourth one. 5's
Warren Baker - March 17, 2010 - Report this comment
I hadn't heard TOS since, well, forever. That is until this past weekend on XM. I'd forgotten how Knopfler does tongue-in-cheek better than most musicians. And your parody takes that light touch and the bouncy rhythm and puts it to great use. I especially like the bridge (originally "Dr. Parkinson declared..."). Excellent, and very funny!

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