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Song Parodies -> "Money for Nothing (updated)"

Original Song Title:

"Money for Nothing"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Dire Straits

Parody Song Title:

"Money for Nothing (updated)"

Parody Written by:

Fed-up Tori Fan

The Lyrics

This parody is inspired by the recent announcement of Tori Amos's 2006 release of "The Piano," a "new" box set with some rarities and remixes. It has a bunch of old songs on it, therefore ripping off her fans who will pay $75.00 for the new stuff and also get a whole bunch of songs they already have.
Now here's "The Piano," it's another box set
Brought to her best fans by Tor-or-i
But it's not great, all this old stuff on it
Money for nothing and her SAAB for free
Yes this here box set, all these old songs on it
Tori Amos, she sure is smart
Watch her screw her best fans out of too much money
Watch her prove she never had a heart.

It's got a few girls from Boys for Pele
Got a version of Crucify!
I don't know why she sells us the same songs.
I guess I'll buy them until I die.

See that Tori Amos pounding up there on her keyboard.
Yeah, I know, that IS her hair.
That Tori Amos got a house in Cornwall.
That Tori Amos she's a millionaire.

Although she lists some alternate mixes,
35 girls are unchanged.
I don't know why she just stuck them on there.
Has she forgotten they're all the same?

I shoulda learned to play the keyboard.
I shoulda learned to sing real high.
Look at that Tori, she got a message from the Goddess.
She's great and I know why
Cause when she writes, watch her channel the muses
Maybe with assistance from some Ecstacy.
That's some nice work if you are pretentious
Get your money for nothing and your SAAB for free.

I really like girls from Little Earthquakes
And I do like the "Pink" girls too.
But I don't need them on a "rare" box set
Oh Dionysius, help me - I feel blue.

T's got nice work, gets her fans to pay up
And they will 'cause they love Tor-or-i
That don't mean she deserves the reward.
Gets her money for nothing and her SAAB for free
Money for nothing and her SAAB for free.
I'm sorry, there are a bunch of Tori in-jokes here. She calls her songs "girls." She has a line about "driving in my SAAB" on her song "Ireland." And she believes she channels the Goddesses when she writes. basically, I'm fed up with her. She releases the same stuff over and over in slightly different incarnations, charging a lot of money for her stuff each time.

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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Paul Robinson - June 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Fed Up 'T' Fan - Excellent job...I happen to be a big "Tori" fan, myself...there is certainly some truth in this piece, though. You have to be a little careful before you plunge into some of the "extra" stuff of her's that's been made available of late. I bought 2 disks of the "Authorized Bootleg" series (I believe there were a total of 6 disks available). They were from her 2005 Spring Tour and while I found them somewhat interesting I wasn't wowed by the audio quality of the recordings. It didn't sound like they did a good job of 'mic-ing' it, which surprise the heck out of me. It WAS interesting to hear the different versions, but for that tour especially to really appreciate the performances really required being there, I think, because she performed without the band...I don't think that translates well to CD listening...you just don't pick up the mood of the event...at least I didn't. I went to her last show of the Fall Tour in 2005 at the Greek Theatre out here in Los Angeles, and I enjoyed it immensely, as much as the previous time I saw her (2003 - Greek Theatre) when she had Jon & Matt with her. So I wasn't tempted to buy the rest of the disks from that "Boxed-set". I also bought her recent release of...um...I think it's called 'Fade to Red"(?)...A two-disk DVD collection set of her videos. I wasn't initially all that thrilled with it...some of the videos seemed to detract rather than add to the songs...but after I listened to the "bonus" audio commentary I found that the collection kind of grew on me...even though I have to say that the concepts behind some of those videos are truly weird...lol...best test: I've have watched it several times since then and found myself enjoying it more each time... Anyway, you did an excellent job of matching "Money for Nothing" and a good job of clearly laying out your complaints...and, yes, a good job of weaving all of those "Inside references" into it...I was familiar with all of them and they all drew chuckles from me...nonetheless, I'm still a fan...Oh, I have generally stopped doing this, but since YOU are familiar with her stuff you might like to visit MY take on waiting in line for her Signature Autograph last year at one of those Record Store signings... 5's on your piece here, of course ~ ~ ~
Paul Robinson - June 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Uh, "Fed-Up"...I apparently don't know how to plug a link to another parody piece in this site correctly, so I'll just mention my piece is called "(I Wore Out) A Pair of Soles" to Tori's OS "Parasol", the opening track on "The Beekeeper" CD from 2005. I wrote most of it while I was actually standing in that line that day...all of the items mentioned were actually happening - some to me and the others to the various folks I was standing in front or in back of in line...I had to write it on a small bit of a torn envelope since that was the only paper I had with me at the time...except the ending, because I didn't know how it would end at that point...or how I would react to it later when I had time to reflect a bit...which is an interesting story (at least to me...lol), but WAY too long story to go into here...
Kristof Robertson - June 29, 2006 - Report this comment
I know how you feel, FUTF....though not a big Amos fan, this does sound like she's taking the mickey. Here's $555 so you can buy her stuff...
Paul Robinson - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Not that it matters to anyone but me, but I revisited that "Boxed Set" I referred to before and the audio quality actually is fine...my CD player needed to be cleaned. I still wouldn't recommend to anyone who isn't a "Tori Fan", but I found them very interesting and enjoyed them when I listened to them last weekend.

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