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Song Parodies -> "Plain Subtraction"

Original Song Title:

"Chain Reaction"

Original Performer:

Diana Ross

Parody Song Title:

"Plain Subtraction"

Parody Written by:

Dumb Ass Kid

The Lyrics

I've never been any good at maths, and I have the exam results to prove it...
Maths is a mystery it makes me vomit
They took all common sense and sh*t upon it
They make you do things that are good for nothing
I don't have a clue
I'm sitting there can't answer another one
They start off easy then they get much harder
They give you marks and then they steal your points away
Crying, trying don't know what to do

I'm getting puzzled by a plain subtraction
Of all this nonsense about points and fractions
So what's the deal with minus numbers, 4 plus A and C
I'm getting stumped by differenciation
The page is filling up with complications
E minus T and then times that by 3
And 20 theories
They talk about pi, pi, pi
They talk about pi
Go on about roots, roots, roots
And on about roots

It makes me tremble just to look at numbers
I guess a job for me could be a plumber
Maths has a way of being hard as metal
I'd settle for a 'U', no
Since when was A a number in any case?
Why put in letters it just makes things slower
Some of these sums could make full sentences
Trying, dying, haven't got a clue cause

I'm in the middle of a hard equation
I'm getting lost and I need inspiration
I need to get my brain cells working, big tests lurking
Mind's just like a gherkin
I need to hold on for the first few questions
Maths aint my thing I guess i'm just not destined
To be smart, i'll just stick with my art
At least i'll get an 'A'
They talk about grades, grades, grades
They talk about grades

I need to go and start some good revision
Hard as nails and glue
Haven't got a clue

I'm in the middle of examinations (examinations)
I'm failing maths but give no explanation (don't ask me pi)
I'm gonna get my maths head ready, feel unsteady
This is what i'm dreading (Oh no!)
I chew my pencil til i'm biting rubber (it tastes like rubber)
Few questions in I feel i'm going under (what's E + 5?)
Not much left of this concrete hard test
No more left to fail (43 by 2 is...)

Hard equation, hard equation (Damn hard equations)
I'm getting stuck and I need some salvation (What's 3 plus Y?)
I'm gonna get my maths head ready, feel unsteady
This is what i'm dreading (Oh no!)
(Continue to fade)
To view the full catalogue of Dumb Ass Kid's parodies and a full biography, simply click on his name, which is underlined at the top of this parody, to be taken to his author's page. Happy reading...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stuart McArthur - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
excellent, DAK - don't tell me you composed this on the submission page! - lots of good ideas in this one - 555
Dumb Ass Kid - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Stu. This was based on some of the things that confuse me about maths. Thought of the idea whilst at work the other night. And no, this was written in word then pasted
Red Ant - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
555-0 easy enough for ya DAK? ;-) All joking aside, very good.
Dumb Ass Kid - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, don't go confusing me with long numbers, RA! Only jokin' - thanks
Tim Mayfield - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
If you think math is hard now, what till they throw in sigmas and n-series... (wakes up shivering) [oh sorry, math nightmare...] Great parody. 5's
Phil Alexander - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Nah.. maths doesn't get hard till you start using sqrt(-1), and trying to work out what it actually *means* ;-) Very good, DAK, and I don't believe a word of it.
Dumb Ass Kid - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you Tim and Phil : )
Eric Andrews - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Never thought anyone would use this song for a parody, but that in itself is worthy of a 5. The pacing is a little tricky, but an A for effort all the same.
Alyssa - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, I'm failing maths too...555
Dumb Ass Kid - July 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you Eric and Alyssa
Mette - January 31, 2009 - Report this comment
You should google dyscalculia - you SO have it. It's "MATH DYSLEXIA". Oh oh and the people at the dyscalculia forum would LOVE this song.
Linnea - August 03, 2010 - Report this comment
This made me laugh so hard! Unexpected rhymes and good flow, this should be made into a music video ;)

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