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Song Parodies -> "Living on Tomteskum"

Original Song Title:

"Living In Paradise"

Original Performer:

David Lee Roth

Parody Song Title:

"Living on Tomteskum"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Tomteskum is a classic Swedish Christmas candy with mystical and mythical powers, especially the pink variety. It's commonly believed to cure everything from gloom to dandruff, from obesophobia to obnoxiousness, from diarrhoea to logorrhea, from impetigo to impotence, from gout to evil eye, from flatulence to flat tires, from... well, you get the idea. Here's a song about it!

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
Eating regular while Christmas' far
Some days it's paleo, others Yankie Bars
But not outright (Not outright)

I got my fridge and my casserole
I'm down with a rind, up to crack some yolk at night
(But not outright)

Milk, I've been hit with since the cows came home
(Since cows came home)
No Pablum more, this time of year
I'm gearing up to food-conform

This Yule I'm all out living on Tomteskum (Just on Tomteskum)
And I don't want no more ham (Taste like sewer, to and fro)
This Yule my motto's gonna be skum or bust
And I don't want no more yam

easy-peasy, for this diet I'll vow
It got naught to improve
It makes me clean my carte out daily
Including beer, you see

A special flavour, hook you in a flash
Can't save for later, I'm not talking balderdash

No shit, no shit

Some foods make feelings come or feelings go
(And some adds weight)
But Tomteskum's enough for me
Just take a bite and you're hooked too

This Yule I'm all out living on Tomteskum (I'm stuck on Tomteskum)
And I don't want no more rum (And I ain't ever been this calm)
This Yule I won't be choking on Lutefisk (Just on, just on Tomteskum)
And I'll assure it's no sham

(AND HERE'S THE FINGERLICKING SOLO)

My hands are pink all over from Tomteskum
(From Tomteskum, Tomteskum)
As I am tryna get crammed
(While I duck, I duck mistletoes)
My jolly beer gut might be from Tomteskum
(I've kinda gone for broke)
But I will bear down if jammed
(From the Tomteskum, from the Tomteskum)

Last month I robbed a truck full of Tomteskum
(Full of Tomteskum)
I guess now Santa won't come
('cept for Tomteskum, 'cept for Tomteskum)
This Yule my basement's filled up with Tomteskum

© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - December 16, 2016 - Report this comment
Never heard of it, but reminds me of women who claim chocolates treat depression! 555!
Peter Andersson - December 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks Rob and all U anonymous voters - Merry Christmas!

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