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Song Parodies -> "Die, Ants"

Original Song Title:

"Let's Dance"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

David Bowie

Parody Song Title:

"Die, Ants"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

My kitchen has recently had a bit of an ant problem. Thus, parody!
Die, ants
Stomp 'em with my shoes into black goo
Damn ants
There's a throng a-crawlin' on my patio
Today
These ants I'll eradicate
No way
These bugs are in my personal space

I hate these bugs, I'll kill 'em soon
I'll magnify their hides
They're crawling on my food
And up my jeans leg too
I'll squash them all
They've brought this harm
Upon themselves, dumbasses

Die, ants

Damn ants
I just want peace, that's all
But ants
They squeeze through ev'ry wall
Bug spray
Kills them, but it stings my eyes
Oy vey
Kills them in due time
For a bit, they act high

I'm gonna crush them beneath my boots
All these little blights must die
Inside my toaster, dude
And my dishwasher, too
Wipe out them all
Deserve this harm
For nipping at my tootsies

Die, ants
Strap on my big shoes and now they're goo
Okay
I think I've beat them, but then dozens more come
Die, ants
Die, ants
Die, ants, die, ants, die, ants, die, ants, die, ants
Hilarious note: the music video for this song was shot in Australia! I did not plan this, but there you go.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Dave W. - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
The clone ant army is a force to be reckoned with.............
Lifeliver - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
We have some nasty ant species in rural Oz that will clock you and go you head to head, absolutely fearless. But it's those pesky litle Argentine ants that are the bane of modern living. I can definitely relate. And they farm their aphids on my precious potplants. You need 555 million bootheels.
Peregrin - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Good one Conq. We have an ant plague where I live at the moment. That video, by the way...the epitome of 'drear'. Bowie's attempt at the 'ebony and ivory' message...packed with metaphors.

If nothing else, we get to see lots of close ups of Bowie and his teeth, making him look like Bingo from the Banana Splits:

http://www.toxic-web.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/blog/bingo-banana-splits.jpg

Back to Conq, Good parody, I know just what you are talking about :)
Agrimorfee - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
This really worked well, the ridiculousness of your lyrics transposed against Bowie's seductive croon is hilarious. (Note on the video: Bowie looks pretty ridiculous trying to mime Stevie Ray Vaughn's guitar solo while wearing white gloves, dontchathink?)
Matthias - December 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Great parody! Back home we always have an ant problem because we live near the national park. So I can completely relate to this one!
Rex - December 31, 2012 - Report this comment
Great topic that everyone can relate to. I brought in spiders to eat the ants, then I had to bring in birds to eat the spiders, then cats to catch the birds...my house was destroyed when I brought in the T-Rex's.
Syncronos - January 02, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) You were stung as a child, weren't you? I'm sensing some pent up anger here...5s from me!
Meriadoc - January 02, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) When I lived in the High Desert the ant problem was frequently traumatic. So I can relate.
Peregrin - January 03, 2013 - Report this comment
Artistry - re my comments from early December :)
Below Average Dave - January 04, 2013 - Report this comment
Uh. . .I suggest calling Pest Control. . .you are gonna lose your mind if you keep trying to just stomp them all. . .what was in your thong to attract them? Conq. . .you know those are not was clothes right:)
glen s - January 04, 2013 - Report this comment
The beginning really sucked me in. Great use of the os and very funny tcop. Some stellar couplets

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