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Song Parodies -> "We Drank a Toast to Underpants"

Original Song Title:

"Same Old Lang Syne"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Dan Fogelberg

Parody Song Title:

"We Drank a Toast to Underpants"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

I met your mother in the trailer park
Out turning tricks for beer and gas
I stole behind her like a tiger shark
And I bit her on the ass

She didn't know me till I snatched her wig
And said it looked like Donald Trump
She couldn't kick me with her wooden leg
So she beat me with the stump

We pledged to spend the night severely blitzed
And hailed some cabbie from Iraq
We paid our fare to town with counterfeits
And we spent the change on crack

We went to have ourselves a drink or two
But all her child support was gone
We stole some Cuervo from the Circle Q
And we drank it in the john

We drank a toast to impotence
We drank a toast to cows
We tried to sing and dance like Mexicans
But neither one knew how

She said you kids were effing worthless slobs
And that her pimp was still a jerk
She would have liked to try some decent jobs
But she didn't like to work

I said for broads her age her body cooked
A total lie to try to score
I called her "Britney Eyes"; they really looked
Like Marty Feldman's more

She said she saw me on the wanted signs
And heard I busted out of jail
I said it rocked to meet celebrities
But the water sports were hell

We drank a toast to Junior Mints
We drank a toast to pee
We tried to drink to all the presidents
But blanked at number three

We drank a toast to miscreants
We drank a toast to Pong
While singing in our underpants
Another old - lame - song

The room was stinky and our livers shot
And I was far too plowed to play
We took turns puking in the par - king - lot
And I watched her limp away

[Slooowing]

Jusht for a moment I was going shtraight
But then I jacked an Esh.U.V.
And azh I shwerved to mish the Shuper 8
I drove - shtraight through - a
Chree

[Sax solo: One verse, not of "Auld Lang Syne," but of "Tequila."
The first line is plaintive and heart-wrenching,
but it accelerates to party speed by the end,
after which everyone yells:]

TE-QUI-LA!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   3
 0
 1
 
 5   20
 21
 20
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

DKTOS? - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
For those who don't know the original song, it's temporarily available at spaff.com/dktos
Jack Wilson - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job! 555!
Leo Jay - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh. My. God. This used to be one of my fave nostalgia tunes, and you've ruined it for me! Hill. Arious. Love the drunken slurring effect at the end. Marty Feldman -- hah! You should do a 'Bette Davis Eyes' parody "Marty Feldman Eyes"
Adagio - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Really good, Spaffy!! 5's
Frankie - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job. 5-5-5
Ashkicksass - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Have you ever gotten a 4 in your life? I laughed my ass off, as usual...
Meriadoc - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Great as usual spaff! Altho' due to a brain-twing and some inattention on my part I was at first trying to make the first line match: "We all ha' run around the breas..." ;-D
Cynth - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Holy crap. Bravo! Every stanza is impeccably sick.
Spaff.com - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Jackie & Patagio & Frankie & Sister Ass & Smeagol & Cynth!

Lee OJ: Yeah, I had the same feelings for the original until I heard it recently and nearly gagged. Now I'm genuinely afraid to go back and listen to "Longer" and "Leader of the Band." Oh, and I've tossed around the "Marty Feldman Eyes" idea since, like, 1981. Maybe one of these days...
Leo Jay - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Heh, Spaff. I guess I'm more doggedly sentimental than you. The first few notes of "Longer Than" takes me immediately back to a particular autumn afternoon in 1982, and a certain raven-haired beauty I knew, wearing a certain clingy t-shirt and a coy smile, giving me a certain flirtatious look... Ah, me... My heart stopped. I loved her, but knew I could never have her...

Saw her 15 years later, and she was a self-absorbed suburban Connecticut housewife with a lawyer-husband, his and her Beemers and kids in the 'right' prep schools. Gag. I prefer my Fogelberg-tinted memory, sappy as it is. But do your worst to "Longer Than" if you wish. I can take it. :-)
Arwen - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
So...I've been technologically challenged the past couple of days and am late for this one. My favorite part was kick ass sax solo...TEQUILA! Hilarious! As always! 555!!
Spaff.com - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen: Thanx!
Lee OJ: You had a crush on Hillary Clinton?!
Michael McVey - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
What were you drinking when you wrote that one? Funny, though. -- MM
Spaff.com - July 03, 2004 - Report this comment
MM: A toast to Indians.
shandi - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Awesome. :)
Spaff.com - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, shandi. Robert Lund has threatened to record this and put it on a CD. Naturally, I hope he carries out his threats.
Grits985 - December 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I love the song.
Spaff.com - January 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Grits985. It loves you back.
Royce Miller - May 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Spaff--I was writing a parody to this song and looked up yours--I laughed so hard; you're so whacked.
Spaff.com - May 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx, Royce. That means a lot coming from someone who obviously understands "whacked." On my way to yours...
Spaff.com - June 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, by the way, Royce, "whacked" - and the whole comment, in fact - was intended nicely/empathetically. In case you wondered.
Joel Martinez - December 19, 2005 - Report this comment
*Sniff* another elegantly momentous piece of work,555
B Alcorn - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
My favorite one so far.
Muddville Music - April 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Truly a masterpiece. :-)
Kelly Crutcher - June 03, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm glad I found this site. 'Another Auld Lang Syne" has always been one of my favorite songs; you just gave me a reason to love it more. I think this version's better than the original! Now every time I hear 'Another Auld Lang Syne' I'll think of this version and laugh my butt off. Thanks for making it and cracking me up! kellyleighcrutcher@hotmail.com
HERE'S ROBERT LUND'S RECORDING - July 15, 2006 - Report this comment
www.spaff.com/poesy/toast.html

Belated thanx for your comments, Joel & B Alcorn & Muddville & Kelly. I'm assuming that most of you are directing your praise at Robert Lund's performance, so I'll agree with you that he did a stellar job on it. It's easily one of my favorite RL recordings.

xoxox
Spaff
Eauhomme - November 15, 2006 - Report this comment
This is one of the funniest parodies--one of my favorite songs of the 80's, completely maimed the way it should be.
Spaff.com - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Thank you, Waterman. I wouldn't say we maimed it, however; Dan Fogelberg says his song is based on a true story, so I just set out to explain the full details the way they actually transpired.
The Stinker - September 05, 2008 - Report this comment
This was eff-ing brilliant. Laughed out loud.
Spaff.com - September 10, 2008 - Report this comment
Effing thank effing you.
LilBarHopper - September 10, 2008 - Report this comment
Staff at Spaff.com: You bar flies are really something! Loved the ref. to Marty Feldman's eyes ! Can I go bar hopping with you, Sir ?
Spaff.com - October 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Anytime, LilBarHopper.

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