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Song Parodies -> "Aiming Blind"

Original Song Title:

"Miss Me Blind"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Culture Club

Parody Song Title:

"Aiming Blind"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I basically made up my own phrase here, "aiming blind" meaning "can't aim for shit". Unless that is an actual phrase that I just haven't heard.
Missed me
How did you miss me?
You must be aiming bli-i-ind

Are you kidding me?
How can you miss me
You must be aiming bli-i-ind

It's only three feet
But still you miss me
Sure you're not aiming bli-i-ind?

Bet you got a shite gun
Just hear me out
Replace your gun
And then
Just keep it aimed straight at me
But I
Just know that you will fuck up again

I say you'll miss me
Cuz you always do
I say you'll miss me
It's getting boring, dude!

Maybe you've got shaky hands
Like my brother, man
I'll teach you
How to keep them still, sure
It's some skill that you need
And kinda badly
Maybe the gun you're using is poor

Keep trying, buddy
One day you'll hit me
'Til then you're aiming bli-i-ind

It's getting silly
Each time you miss me
Sure you're not aiming bli-i-ind?

You've been trained to use guns
But still somehow
Your shots are way off centre
It could be the gun, I'm still not sure
Your face doesn't look really clever

And still you miss me
You're never close, too
And still you miss me
How hard is it to shoot?

Maybe you've got sweaty hands
Just like I do, man
I tell you
Wipe them off on your shorts
It's some skill that you need
And really badly
Most of your shots are hitting the floor

Just take that gun
Hold it really still
Look straight through the cross-hair sight
This should've been quick
This whole squad is poor
All four of ya
Are aiming blind

The judge promised me
This would be quick, see?
Why are you aiming bli-i-ind?

Started at dawn, see
It's now ten thirty
Cuz you were aiming bli-i-ind

(Instrumental)

Hey, Mister Cop, see
In all honesty
Firing squad's aiming bli-i-ind

What are their names, please?
Mike, Dave and two Steves
Tell them they're aiming bli-i-ind

They cannot hear me
Or they can't lip-read
That they are aiming bli-i-ind

Not even moving
Tied to the wall, see
And still they're aiming bli-i-ind

Not literally
A figure of speech
That they are aiming bli-i-ind

Give me that gun, please
I pleaded guilty
I know I won't aim bli-i-ind
Guess the Mulan reference!

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 1
 
 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Blaydeman - December 20, 2010 - Report this comment
I gonna "take a shot in the dark" and see if I can shoot some 555's on this parody....... BULLSEYE! Nice workT-COP!
Matthias - December 20, 2010 - Report this comment
I love how you took "miss me" out of context in the original song and created this parody. Very clever. Highly original topic. Strange because why would the guy want his friend to shoot him with a gun in the first place. I thought this was going to be about being crappy at first person shooter games but you took it in a complete other direction which is cool.
Below Average Dave - January 04, 2011 - Report this comment
I could SO see this as a recording to go along with playing Golden Eye, Perfect Dark or other shooters. . .I don't know TCOP, it may not be major funny, but it just worked, left a fun feeling . . .really liked it
agrimorfee - January 08, 2011 - Report this comment
I feel like I am the only one who's gotten the joke of this parody...about a firing squad that can't shoot straight. Odder still is the narrator who is totally blase about his impending doom, sorta like executed murderer Gary Gilmore (look it up on wiki) . So not a complete knock out of the ballpark, but a triple play at least.
Rex - January 09, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Awesome concept, although here in the US of A, "aiming blind" means shooting at a target you can't see, which could throw some readers off. Still great humor along the lines of the genetically-engineered animal in The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe that tells people what parts of it would be best to eat.
Mark Scotti - January 10, 2011 - Report this comment
SOTM Can't "miss" with that humor!! BTW..Great Culture Club Song. (My opinion, their best, next to Church Of The poison Mind)
Blaydeman - January 10, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hits dead center every time I read it. Again, great job!
Abbott Skelding - January 13, 2011 - Report this comment
SOTM: Never heard the original song before, but this was a nice idea with a phrase I'm gonna use now
Max Power - January 17, 2011 - Report this comment
You're on target!
Peter Andersson - January 22, 2011 - Report this comment
I have a parody in my folder by the name "when I missed the teacher" (to a well known Abba song), does that make us great minds that think alike or equally tasteless dudes? [insert hang jury joke here]
Jeff Reuben - January 25, 2011 - Report this comment
I was sure this was going to be a bathroom parody :) This song could make for a really funny video, ripe for site gags.
Mike J - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
I’ve seen law enforcers ‘aiming blind.’ There’s an old video around of a raid somewhere in Texas that ‘went wrong,’ as the saying goes….. Were you talking about something like that? Or am I taking this too literally? Should I know who Mike, Dave, Steve, and Steve are? Intriguing story you’re sort-of telling, with technically good writing, but I’m left not sure that I get it.
bobpiecheese - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Not much to get Mikey: it's just a guy complaining to his firing squad that they can't aim for crap. No significance to the names, no reference to a raid in Texas (me not knowing something that happened in America, what a surprise!), just that one-sentence summary. I guess it doesn't help that I just sorta made up a meaning for "aiming blind"...

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