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Song Parodies -> "Whaling"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Christopher Cross

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Bob Emmet/Project Sisyphus

The Lyrics

Never was the expression "there he blows" more appropriate. And, I'll admit right up front the "Blubber Helper" line I stole from a Simpsons episode, but it just worked too well.
It’s not far to the hunting grounds
I know we’ll be there soon
And if I drink too much, I will brag about
the size of my harpoon
Blubber Helper can do miracles
—I shot this thing last June!
So grab a spoon...

It’s not far to where Belugas roam
They swim so free and fast
And if they’re eating right, you can see’em spout
‘Cause krill will give you gas
Oh, the cannon can do miracles
Pointed at the vast
cetacean ass

Whaling—takes me away to where majestic humpbacks sound
If the market’s right, you can sell’em there
for twenty bucks a pound

Morality—it never bothers me—when I’m whaling
After a couple of months at sea
My one-legged cook looks like Britney
Hope he don’t mutiny

Whaling—takes me away where Coast Guard ships won’t think to look
I’ve got no remorse, Wolfgang Puck’s endorsed
my “Joy of Whales” cookbook

(Plaintive piano solo with whale cries)

Seems the whales this time eluded us
we couldn’t close the deal
But we sank a Greenpeace vessel
and clubbed some baby seals
Ooh, the flipper is delicious
just like milk-fed veal
Or rhino heel

Whaling—sent me away—my ten-foot cell is cold and drab
And the jokers here, just as I feared
are calling me “Ahab”...

©2007 Bob Emmet
dude, check out our band, man: Project Sisyphus

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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AFW - October 22, 2007 - Report this comment
This is really see-worthy...funny lines, "Size of my harpoon" and "One legged cook looks like Britney"
PMS - October 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Only know the refrain of the OS (OKTROTOS)?, so I regret that I cannot fairly vote but it was a whale of a read.
Kristof Robertson - October 22, 2007 - Report this comment
My brine-logged brain dimly recalls the OS, Bob...but this was a great read. 555
Tommy Turtle - October 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Makes me kinda worried about the follow-up, but as long as this is just satire... 555, and hope the cellmates harpoon your poon.
Rex - October 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Mmmmmmmm....blubber. Brilliant from stem to stern.
Joe Haynes - October 22, 2007 - Report this comment
The thrill of krill. 5-5-5
Quin the Eskimoe - October 22, 2007 - Report this comment
I resemble this parody and echo Rex... top notch... will etch a copy on inner walls of my igloo...
Project Sisyphus - October 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Thank you AFW, PMS, Kristof, Tommy, Rex, Joe and Quin! Tommy don't worry, in real life I can't even convince my wife of our desperate need for a boat; she squanders our money on food and health insurance.
TT - October 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Who can understand women?
Frank Servo - October 24, 2007 - Report this comment
A naughty parody dressed up in full-length double-entendre. Spaff's worse side is starting to rub off on you. I'm not impressed. - October 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Beautiful, matey. And Frank Servo can suck my full-length double entendre.
Project Sisyphus - October 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Frank, Spaff has a better side I don't know about? Sorry you're offended, not quite sure what you didn't like, but I have to take this as a great compliment. I've got less crude stuff in the works, but just so you know: the Spaffster and I are actually working together on some upcoming musical dementia.
Walt Conner - October 25, 2007 - Report this comment
I liked the OS... Me thinks I like the parody more... arrr 3X5 Matte, she sure is yarr...
Frank Forrester Servo - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
I meant, your parody borders on being S-M-U-T. Get your bloody mind out of the gutter. Your other work was coool; this, while I can tell a lot of work went into it, is basically whale poo.
Duh - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Frank Forrester Servo is Jonathan S.
Jonathan S. - November 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Excuse me? If I had a beef with Spaff, I think I'd have enough plums to use my own name, like I've done the past few times. I can see why you'd think that other guy is me, but, as for me, I thought I might as well keep my mouth shut this time since Spaff doesn't really care anyhow if he gets some criticism --something Servo here didn't hear about.
Carmine (2-LOUD) Boccotesta - November 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey-e ovah 'eah, HUH? Iz dat yous ovah 'eah Frankie? Iz you Frankie (Binary-Boy) Servo? Wees gotz word dat uz been flingin viruses at Signore Matthias parody. Wees is lettin yous nose dat a contrack iz owt on yous culo. Now yous is causin' truble ovah 'eah. I all-wayz new dat Frankie had his testa up hiz culo. Binary-Boy iz aboud ta go BADDA-BING! 2-LOUD OUTTA 'EAH!
Project Sisyphus - November 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Mmmmm...whale poo...
Jon - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Viruses at Matthias' parody? Explain.

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