Once in your life you'll find you've
Pounded too much bran fiber down
When you're out at night
And closin' down the town

Something inside you rumbles
Gastrointestinal peristalsis
There's no public restroom,
And, here comes a mess

You might get caught taking a poo out in the city
Not 'cause you're lazy
Just no loo

If you get caught taking a poo out in the city
The best that you can do
The best that you can do
Is smile and run

Waterproof pants might have saved you
Tight rubber boxers just your size
Would have contained that oat bran's
Sudden surprise

Now it's too late, you feel it coming
That oat bran is surely on its way down
Frantically you seek somewhere
To paint the town brown

You might get caught taking a poo out in the city
Dumpin' a crazy
Number two

When you get caught taking a poo out in the city
And some cop chases you,
But slips on your doo-doo,
Just bolt and run!